The creators of this sport clearly were influenced by wrecks in auto racing. There are clearly vestiges of roller derby to it, too. The man-made track, which hosts four skaters per race, runs more than 1,500 feet in length and features jumps and crash-ensuring hairpin turns. No skater apparently should make it down the track without at least one notable spill:

The sport’s Wikipedia page describes the pursuit as “a winter extreme sporting event, which involves downhill skating in an urban environment, on a track which includes steep turns and high vertical drops.” A 2007 New York Times feature on Crashed Ice actually credits the energy drink producer with creating the sport.

“Part of Crashed Ice’s charm is that it offers a shot at the big-time for those whose hockey dreams have been unfulfilled,” the Times suggests.

“If you played hockey and dreamed of the N.H.L., but couldn’t make it, you look at Crashed Ice and say, ‘I could do that,’ ” Keith DeGrace, communication director for Red Bill Canada, told the Times.

Some 35,000 Quebecers lined the temporary ice track and watched the competition this past winter. The skaters whizzed by them at 35 miles an hour plus. I’m one who’s long ridiculed NASCAR and its regional culture of wreck-wishers and monotonous action, but Crashed Ice seems to hold much of the same allure.

Am I a white-neck?

Hockey hottie, to be pressed into humanitarian service at the draft

In the opening moments of Versus’ coverage of the NHL Entry Draft Friday night male viewers were treated to an appearance by, and interview of, lovely Alyssa Milano, celebrity puckhead of the first order. The interview was fun and illuminating — the Milano family, we learned, loves its hockey. We didn’t see her again, and the rest of the night, Gary Bettman dominated the broadcast, shaking approximately four hundred sets of hands, many of them in repeat fashion. It was excruciatingly dull. Talk about a television event peaking early. That’s but one symptom of what’s wrong with this yawn-inducing event.

It needs more Alyssa, a lot less Bettman.

Think about it: the league is asking a national television audience to tune in to an event in prime time on a summer Friday night that will have action — such as draft activity can be said to be such — once every 10 minutes or so. Some post mortems from Friday’s event suggested that the telecast was hampered by a paucity of name player trades on the draft floor. Nah. Even a half dozen doozies of those wouldn’t have altered the draft as a Bettman-centric event.

George McPhee was everybody’s favorite manager on the evening for expeditiously galloping up to the stage and announcing the Caps’ first-round selection. It was a drive-by selection, mercifully, a manager’s commendable humanitarian act. The rest of the managers, and their scouts, and their VPs for hockey operations, and their rescue mutts, took turns saying thank you to the host town and team, hello to fans watching at team draft parties, adieu to retiring execs, and even imparted a few backyard barbeque recipes before announcing their selections. These were State of the Team Union addresses gone very long and very dry and very unnecessary.

To go back to Bettman the Dullard, why must he proceed over the entirety of the first round’s four hours? Because that’s what the other commissioners do? That’s no justification. The NHL’s draft will always lag behind those of other pro sports in general interest level because save baseball’s the draftees in those other sports fairly make immediate contributions to their drafting clubs, particularly in the NBA and NFL. One or two or three guys at the very top of the NHL draft have a plausible chance at making the opening night roster come autumn, that’s it. Consequently, the NHL draft is a party for draftgeeks. But not media. And certainly not a general television audience. And what the league is doing with its draft in terms of production values ensures its being a snorefest.

To make it a party, the commissioner ought to open the evening with a terse hello and then hand off the proceedings to a hockey-loving mega celebrity. Like Alyssa Milano. Carrie Underwood’s attended a few hockey games in recent seasons; she I think could be deemed an enthusiast of our sport.  She’d enliven the draft stage a wee bit.

Think that parade of 18-year-olds selectees might have enjoyed being on the receiving end of a stage hug and a peck from Alyssa or Carrie? You’d have sixth-round prospects flying in from Siberia just to be in the building. The draft would sell out (as a free event).

I can think of an outfit for entry draft hosting for Shania Twain that would draw a few more eyes to the TV.

Friday night Bettman would shake GMs’ hands and then shake them again an hour later when the same GMs returned to the stage. Steve Martin or Billy Crystal hosting the Oscars this was not.

Shania, dressed for draft success

Other (hottie) celebs ought to be brought in and accorded TV time. Hockey players disproportionately seem to attach themselves to fashion models and actresses and other attractive entertainers. It might have been fun, for instance, to have had Underwood interviewed in the middle of the first round and elicit from her an appraisal of how much she’s learned about hockey in recent seasons from attending Ottawa Senators’ games. The NHL isn’t bashful about including hockey-loving celebs at its Winter Classic; why not the draft as well?

I’ve traveled to attend a draft, and even in a year (2002) when the Capitals had a glut of high selections I found the event to be an energy sapping snorefest. There’s a whole lot of waiting around for something to happen (it’s like soccer in that regard), and if you’re seated in the upper deck by about minute seven between picks you want to hang yourself over the ledge. Go to one draft, you don’t ever need to attend another. But even watching it on TV has grown incredibly stale. Even bellicose histrionics from Pierre McGuire can’t save this event from itself.

There is great action at the draft, but fans — in the arena and watching at home — are necessarily walled off from it. I’m referring to the strategy table deliberations among a GM and his scouts. That’s the nitty-gritty grist of the draft, and that’s proprietary stuff, obviously, but I wonder if fans couldn’t be brought on the inside there to some small degree? A team’s GM and all its scouts have terrifically important work to conduct on the draft floor, but I wonder if a PR staffer for each team could be empowered to Tweet, in real time, something more than gossip but info less than that that would compromise a team’s standing?

We learned well after the draft telecast had concluded that the Caps were trying to trade up (fairly dramatically) to land the guy they most wanted in round one. What if Ross Mahoney had shared that info for Nate Ewell to relay on line just seconds after his GM walked off the draft stage? Nothing proprietary is being compromised in such a scenario.

This is a proposal positing an intrusion upon an inviolate feature of hockey culture; I’d have an easier time leaving the rink with Alyssa for a late-night tour of L.A. in her limo.

So, we crafted and submitted, then wondered, as some days passed without hearing back from the TV outlet, if we’d had a little too much fun with the crafting. But earlier today we learned that three of our five questions made their way to Jenn, and she answered all right — well, three of them anyway.

To satisfy your curiosity, we submitted these five queries:

(1) What first date would you more enjoy — attending a Moscow discotheque with Alexander Ovechkin or playing miniature golf with Carmilo Villegas?
 
(2) You’re in D.C. next June covering the U.S. Open at Congressional, and it’s late in the day and you’re grabbing a drink at the 19th hole. You see Tiger Woods approach you. Do you finish your drink (it was expensive) or run for cover?
 
(3) ‘Kissing Suzy Kolber‘ is one of our favorite blog names, and it’s a great site, too. What gerund ought to procede your name for a butt-kicking cool site?   
 
(4) Jenn, this is a direct quote from Washington Capitals’ goalie Semyon Varlamov: “You know, I’m extremely fortunate that I met a Russian girl in America. It’s difficult to look at a lot of the local women. You get the feeling that just don’t take care of themselves! There are an awful lot of heavyset ones. But Russian girls have nice trim figures. I couldn’t imagine myself being with an American girl.” Care to rebut?
 
(5) Movie-in date night — ‘Pretty Woman’ with popcorn or ‘Slapshot’ with a six-pack?  

‘The Daily Line’ will air tonight after game 3 of the Stanley Cup finals. We can only hope for similarly arduous interview assignments in the future.

There’s little point in fingering blame at the Capitals’ top defensive pair of Mike Green and Jeff Schultz for their part in the deficit. Bottom line: Theodore had to set a tone in a desperation hockey game, and he failed. Again. For the second consecutive postseason Bruce Boudreau had to yank his no. 1 netminder at the dawning of an opening series, for less-than-stellar play.

Compounding the frustration with Theodore is the likelihood that he doesn’t even need to play brilliantly in order for the Capitals to enjoy a lengthy postseason run this spring: he just needs to be solid-to-strong over the course of a long series, and his offensively gifted teammates will take care of the rest. That means not whiffing on the first handful of shots he faces in a game.  Theodore may get the call Monday night, in the thoroughly hostile environs of Bell Centre, but it’s clear that Montreal won’t be intimidated by him.

Then again, after putting a half dozen pucks by Jaroslav Halak Saturday, the Caps won’t much be intimidated by Montreal’s no.1. This is a series unique in its offering the very real potential of having four goaltenders seeing significant playing time. If there is one netminder who seemingly could stake a claim to swagger in the crease, it’d be Semyon Varlamov. Varly made his NHL debut in Montreal on December 12, 2008, stopping 31 of 32 shots, becoming the first goalie to win his debut in Montreal in more than 30 years. Prior to Saturday night Varly had two starts against the Habs and won both, boasting a 1.94 goals-against and a .930 save percentage. Quite simply, the Habs haven’t beaten him. You would have to think that should Jose Theodore start tonight he’d not only have to perform solidly but the Capitals would have to prevail for him to keep his job — Varly’s success versus Montreal, and his savior’s role versus the Rangers in last April’s opening series, would argue well for his getting the reliever’s call.

All season long I’ve been a press box audience to this line of thinking articulated by media local and out-of-town: the Caps appear to play harder for Semyon Varlamov. The Capitals however played very hard in front of Theodore at the start of this series, particularly its opening 20 minutes. They just didn’t get the results. Boudreau’s decision on a starting netminder tonight is easily the most interesting and intriguing of his NHL career. It’s one he most certainly wanted to avoid having to make so early this postseason, but Jose Theodore again has placed his coach in the position of having to make it.

Photoshop artistry by Mike Rucki

* * * * *

Just how epic was Saturday night’s stirring and heart-stopping comeback in Capitals’ lore? Was it anywhere near as impressive as the Caps’ overcoming a 3-0 deficit at home in game 7 against the Flyers in 1988? The Caps under the leadership of Rod Langway and Dale Hunter had more game time left with which to mount their comeback that night. Then again, the stakes were a lot higher that night. And that Flyers’ club was certainly better than this Habs’ one. Still, clawing back and triumphing from three down with barely more than a period to play merits inclusion among the organization’s all-time postseason performances. Certainly the league’s American broadcast partners took notice yesterday, with both NBC and Versus lavishing love on the Caps for their Saturday night heroics.

* * * * *

Speaking of heroes, I really dig the nickname Captain America for John Carlson. Really dig it.

* * * * *

Dateline, Southern Virginia Marriott Hotel, some 120 miles from Washington, Saturday night: at the hotel sportsbar named T-Miller’s, myriad televisions beamed a spring Saturday evening’s sporting fare, including the opening of the NBA playoffs and a remarkable test of bullpen arms’ endurance between the St. Louis Cardinals and the New York Mets, which didn’t see its first run of the game scored until the 19th inning. At puckdrop between the Caps and Habs near 7:00 the bar was sparsely populated, and a lone TV screen behind the bar carried the action.

The game didn’t draw a heck of a lot of notice given its seeming blowout formation in the second period, but there were a few red-clad enthusiasts following, and when Nicklas Backstrom scored deep in the second stanza to close the gap to 4-2, a few rowdy cheers rose over the murmurs of the hoops and diamond partisans.

Then a wedding reception at the hotel let out, near 9:00 — an open bar gathering clearly — and the bar suddenly was swarmed with well-dressed revelers. All of them, it seemed, had one game inspiring their formation in the tavern: hockey. Caps’ hockey. A fiery middle-aged woman not the mother of the bride began working her way from table to table, surveying patrons’ preference for the big-screened television affixed to a central wall. It was at that moment showcasing game 1 of the Celtics and Miami Heat.  Actually, it wasn’t a single TV screen but an amalgam of smaller screens that formed a fun and impressive broadcast glow over the majority of the sprawling wall.

This woman was on a mission. She wasn’t having any NBA on at this hour, but being in possession of southern grace, she made sure first that the house was in majority support of her position. Darned if she didn’t get that wall beaming the game from Verizon Center beginning with period three. And when John Carlson tied it up with little more than a minute left serious beauties from the bride’s party bestowed kisses on stranger men throughout the bar — and leading chants of ‘C-A-P-S CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!”

Times are a-changin.

When weighing sportsmanship versus the opportunity to heap on humiliation to this opponent and its fans, in one of the final games in its mausoleum of a rink, the call here is an easy one: heap it on, baby! Ovi’s sub-one-second-left empty-netter was a wondrous calling card for the Igloo, as if he was saying Here’s a little extra sour cream for your pierogie!

The Igloo as it’s known was the setting of the masterful Jean-Claude Van Damme bit of cinema, ‘Sudden Death,’ and also some hockey, and it has provided the Caps with mostly down moments in its history. Last night’s win however was a team triumph and, we think, a true turning of the page in the contemporary history of this storied rivalry. You just know that the Pens didn’t want to get swept by the Caps on the season, but they were powerless to avoid it, never much gaining control of the game’s tempo. Last year’s Caps went 3-1 versus Pittsburgh during the regular season, winning both games at Mellon, but this year seems different. The Caps are deeper and bigger than their former Patrick division rivals, even though their depth wasn’t on display last night. The Caps were without Brendan Morrison, John Carlson, Mike Green, Eric Belanger, and Scott Walker. Pittsburgh was without Evgeni Malkin and Chris Kunitz.

• Can the Capitals ask the league to recall its just-released 10 Best Games DVD collection so that last night’s game can be included? It was, after all, the final regular season game contested between these teams who loathe each other in Mellon Arena. Oh, and with the win the Capitals swept a season series with Pittsburgh for the first time in team history.

• A sweep for the first time in team history — that speaks volumes of both the Penguins’ past dominance of the Capitals and the noteworthiness of the Caps’ 4-0 run this season. The District’s schools should be closed today in acknowledgment—at the very least the Caps’ accomplishment merits as much attention as the Redskins’ acquisition of another team’s cast-off quarterback.

• It appears that it won’t much matter where the Caps play the Pens, one thing won’t ever change: the Pens will get the calls. For the fifteenth consecutive game in this rivalry the Caps failed to win the tally of the power plays, and in just four of those games have the Caps earned an equal number of extra man advantages. The tally last night was 4-1 against in penalties. Alex Semin takes elbows to the head, Tomas Fleishmann sticks to the throat, and it’s see no evil from the men in stripes. It’s getting to the point where a Presidential Commission ought to investigate. And make no mistake, while the Capitals this season have aptly demonstrated their superiority over this talented Pittsburgh team, should they face them in the postseason there will again be eyebrow- and blood pressure-raising  issues with officiating. It is seemingly ever thus in this series, but especially since Sidney’s arrival.

• Anyway, we’re going to keep a sharp eye out for word of the demolition date of Mellon Arena, and work with other Caps’ blogs on organizing a roadtrip work party for Caps’ fans to assist in the endeavor.

• Sarge was Large: Jeff Schultz’s play post Olympics hadn’t matched his pre-break level — well, how could it? — but last night Sarge offered up his best game since play resumed from the February hiatus. He had two assists and skated a +5 on the evening, eliminated some of the giveaways that had crept back into his game, and did an effective job of tying up Pens forwards down low.

• Semyon Varlamov? Super solid. He’s finally rounding into difference-making major league form. He was beaten last night by a Sidney Crosby bullet from the high slot while Capitals’ defenders (Tyler Sloan especially) offered conspicuous deference to him in that area. And Jordan Leopold launched a laser from the point that Shaone Morrisonn deflected by his netminder. Bruce Boudreau has to feel a lot better about his goaltending than he did perhaps two weeks ago.

• Ovi is heating up all right, and the timing couldn’t be better. It seems fair to say that Ovi changed his game of late in responding to all the scrutiny of his questionable hits this season. Now he seems to be more the Ovi of old. It may have been Brian Engblom in the Versus studio last night who suggested that there’s been too much East-West to Ovi’s game in the past month, when he’s at his most dynamic and game-breaking best when skating North-South. We agree.

• Eddie Olczyk sure was a voice of dispassionate analysis on the Versus broadcast last night, wasn’t he, weighing in on everything from the milliseconds of tardiness the zebras took in whistling the game’s lone penalty on Pittsburgh to extolling the virtues of Jordan Staal winning a draw in his own end that Ovi snapped into the back of the Pittsburgh cage two seconds later.

When I first heard about the dispute, I was intrigued when I heard that DirecTV was using its Twitter feed to convey information.  ”What a good idea,” I thought.  Then I read it. 

We’re listening and know how important Versus is. We are negotiationing for a fair deal. Visit DirecTV for the latest

“Negotiationing?”  What?  Most of the rest of the feed served to taunt Comcast, who owns Versus. 

To confirm: Comcast has pulled Versus, a channel we have long supported. Tell Comcast its time their pattern of unreasonable demands ends.

@comcastcares We’re sure when you have a more reasonable deal for DIRECTV customers, we’ll be much closer. Let’s work on that together

Not to be outdone in passive-aggressiveness, Comcast stuck it right back to them.

I apologize for all the spam sent this way by @DirecTV interesting use of Twitter. Others will respond

@DIRECTV It is nice to see all the demand for Verses. I guess you should work to get this done

@DIRECTV We are waiting on you for Verses

@pedalwest I suggest you discuss with @DirecTV, they can have this resolved quickly

@AdLawGuy I suggest you discuss with @DirecTV, they can have this resolved quickly

@BigGame72 I suggest you discuss with @DirecTV, they can have this resolved quickly

You get the point.  And those are just a few from today.

All that the Twitter wars accomplished was to convince me that DirecTV makes up words, and Comcast doesn’t know how to spell “Versus.”  Either way, I wasn’t impressed.

Yes, they have the rest of the month to work it out.  That’s too late for this subscriber- now that Verizon FIOS carries NHL Center Ice, I don’t need DirecTV.  At least this debacle happened before the start of hockey season.

The yearly debate has started up again: should the NHL outlaw fighting?

Every year after the All-Star break, the debate on whether or not fighting has a place in the game starts. Some pundits think fighting has always had a place in the game and others question whether or not it endangers players. The question, however, shouldn’t be ‘should fighting be outlawed’ but rather, ‘who should be able to fight?’

Hockey and fighting have always gone hand in hand since the beginning. Fighting is just a natural side effect of the physical and emotional game of hockey. The energy, emotion and excitement have to come out some way and fighting is hockey’s natural release.

Perhaps the most important reason as to why fighting shouldn’t be banned is the tradition of it. Fighting is perhaps one of the most gentlemanly and upstanding parts of the game. When was the last time there was a dirty hit in a fight? When was the last cheap shot in a fair fight? Sure there are a few players like Cindy Sidney Crosby who will pick a fight while their opponent isn’t looking, but in general, it is a clear affair. The tradition of showing the hometown crowd who is boss shouldn’t ever leave the game. It is hockey’s unique trait.

If fighting is outlawed it could actually take the game of hockey down a dark and scary path, one filled with bounties and cheap shots. With no way to release aggression, some players will engage in less than fair practices in order to get to the other team’s agitator. Look at the NFL for instance; the game of football is just about as physical as hockey, and there is no fighting allowed. The game is filled with cheap shots, players sticking fingers in helmets, and the worst of all, players encouraging other teams to go out of their way to injure a player. No one involved with the NHL would ever want the game to go to that place.

During the Versus telecast of the Rangers vs. Devils game, the commentators brought up an interesting point: why not just limit who can fight? The NHLPA has said that it should be ruled illegal for players to not take their helmets off during a fight. The commentators went on to agree with the union, saying it was a good idea but players with visors shouldn’t be allowed to fight. It seems like the most logical answer to the question, as many of the league’s fighters don’t wear one anyway.

The concern for safety is obvious here, but there is no reason to go overboard. The NHLPA is just looking out for the player’s well being, but is fighting really the place where most players get hurt? The answer is no, actually; it is most likely what happens before the fight that someone is hurt- Kris Draper’s broken face courtesy of Claude Lemiuex and Chris Drury’s head laceration just to name a few. Fighting is perhaps one of the cleanest parts of hockey and one of the most honored traditions. It would be foolish for the NHL to ban it.