08 July, 2008

Category Archives: Schadenfreude

scha—den—freu—de [shahd-n-froi-duh]
—noun; satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else’s misfortune.

Another Solid Draft Hauling in Adherence with the Blueprint

So how did the Caps do at the draft this weekend? One answer is, a lot better than the Islanders and especially Pittsburgh. Here’s a Hockeysfuture reflection from an Isles’ fan attending a Friday night draft party, grading out his team’s labor in Ottawa:

“NYI-On a scale of 1-10 with 1 being the worst they are in negative numbers.

“I was at the draft party. The place was furious when they traded the 5th pick, but when they got nothing of value back from the Leaf’s the place really started to flip out.

“Then when the Isles traded the 7th pick to the Preds—again for nothing much in return—of the 1,000 or so fans in attendence—at least 500 got up and walked out in disgust and silence. They did not even boo.

“When they selected Bailey—you could hear a rat piss on cotton in Argentina. Then—everyone left in disgust.”

At least the Isles, eventually, belatedly, made some selections. Pittsburgh goes on the clock for the first time late this Tuesday morning. In this draft, you just wanted to be in the mix (and not, like Garth Snow, trying to trade out of it), with some picks among the top 75 or so prospects. The Caps were, they had a specific strategy — players targeted for the team’s draft positions — and they landed their targets.

In their last five drafts, the Caps have accumulated 10 first-round picks. And if you listened to General Manager George McPhee’s post-draft reflections on Saturday, he’d have you believe there’s an 11th in the tally — Dmitry Kugryskev, a CSKA-2 teammate of sixth-overall selection Nikita Filatov.

“We thought he may have gone somewhere in the first round,” McPhee said after Saturday’s drafting has been completed. Alluding to the absence of a transfer agreement with Russia, McPhee added that Kugryskev certainly would have gone higher “in the old NHL.”

Over the weekend McPhee also noted that the Caps enjoy a distinct drafting advantage by virtue of having Alexander Ovechkin. While most other organizations in rounds 1 and 2 will understandably be wary of selecting Russians then in the absence of a transfer agreement, and now the formation of the Continental Hockey League as a bigger, better-paying version of the RSL, the Caps as they interview Russian prospects can gauge interest in the youngsters’ willinginess to come over and skate with their nation’s hero. Kugryskev is one such prospect.

“I dream about the NHL every day of my life. It’s my dream,” Kugryskev said recently.

With respect to his new Russian winger, McPhee probably wasn’t just whistling that 30-team, post-draft sunshine tune that’s a staple of every draft’s conclusion, either. Last season the right winger scored 58 points in 35 games with CSKA-2. His lottery pick teammate Filatov had 66 points in 34 games. He’s renowed for his worth ethic.

The Capitals were going to trade out of round 1 Friday if neither of Anton Gustafsson nor John Carlson had been available. They landed both. They also had multiple trade offers when their turn came up late in round 2. McPhee actually called a timeout to ponder them but ultimately judged what was available (Kugryskev and Eric Mestery) as more valuable. So the Caps landed their primary targets and then, while with offers in hand to move away from the draft’s still rich realm, they judged their draft list delivering them better value and they selected, solidly.

The Carlson selection in particular may prove to be a sage one. Already blessed with a pro physique, the mobile, two-way reargruard was an intrigue prospect for this draft. His size and all-around game drew universal commendation from NHL organizations, but competing in the United States Hockey League, and competing in a draft chock full of bluechip defenders, Carlson was a candidate to be there late in round one.

Charlie Skjodt, his coach with the Indiana Ice of the USHL, told the Newark Star-Ledger before the draft, “I’d be shocked if he isn’t selected in the first round . . . without a doubt, he’s going to be a star in the NHL.” Carlson’s already served as an assistant captain on a U.S. select team and is likely a strong candidate to represent the U.S. in future World Under-20 tourneys.

The Capitals are currently ranked sixth by Hockeysfuture for the strength of their prospect holdings. If you’re at the very top of that list it likely means you’re drafting too high, too often too consecutively each June. With their work this past weekend the Capitals are a safe bet to remain in the top 10 of the HF ranking. That seems about where they’d want to be: not a lottery regular but with a farm chock full of promise and able fill-ins for injured players on the parent roster. And it’s this quality and depth that is central to the Caps’ tenet of building and replenishing largely from within.

It’s worth noting, too, the success the Caps are now having in drafts’ later rounds. Among recent signees are Mathieu Perreault (6th round, ‘06), Oskar Osala (4th round, ‘06), Andrew Joudrey (8th round, ‘03), Daren Maschesney (5th round, ‘05), Patrick McNeill (4th round, ‘05), Travis Morin (9th round, ‘04), and Andrew Gordon (7th round, ‘04).

The Capitals today are an experienced drafting organization; McPhee and Ross Mahoney have been together 10 years now. They’ve made their share of mistakes in June in years past, which the GM has aknowledged, but they’re enjoying more success these days. That continued this past weekend in Ottawa.

A Draft Hole Impacting the Washington-Pittsburgh Rivalry Years Hence?

Below you will find the order of selection for next weekend’s first four rounds of the 2008 NHL Entry Draft, held in Ottawa. You will note from our highlighting in bold the wealth of selections the Capitals enjoy — six picks among the first 93 of the draft. This draft is universally regarded as distinctive for the quality of its depth; there will be solid NHL contributors selected liberally throughout rounds one, two, and three.

We would have you take particular note of the absence of any selections in the high-end range by your 2008 Eastern Conference champion. Their first pick arrives after 119 other 18-year-olds have been plucked.

The Penguins’ American League affiliate in Wilkes Barre-Scranton raced all the way to the Calder Cup finals this month, but unlike the Hershey Bears’ appearances there in 2006 and 2007, the junior Penguins aren’t believed to be chock full of promising young future talent for the parent club — that talent’s already in Pittsburgh. One reason they’re missing both high picks this year and high-end talent on the farm was February’s trade for Marian Hossa and Hal Gill as well as last year’s acquisition of geriatric Gary Roberts.

Penguins’ GM Ray Shero has his share of challenges this summer: 13 unrestricted and 4 restricted free agents to ink for next season. While it’s not impossible for teams to acquire young talent after round 3 of the NHL Entry Draft, the odds plummet precipitously. One’s thing’s for sure: 29 other NHL clubs will be helping themselves from this talent-rich draft before the Penguins do. As recent rebuilders, they’re ahead of the Capitals in both achievement and status, but that gap could close a healthy bit this summer.

  ROUND 1   ROUND 2   ROUND 3   ROUND 4
1 Tampa Bay 31 Florida (from T.B.) 62 Tampa Bay 92 Los Angeles (from T.B.)
2 Los Angeles 32 Los Angeles 63 Los Angeles 93 Washington (from L.A.)
3 Atlanta 33 St. Louis (from ATL) 64 Atlanta 94 Atlanta
4 St. Louis 34 St. Louis 65 St. Louis 95 St. Louis
5 NY Islanders 35 Phoenix 66 NY Islanders 96 NY Islanders
6 Columbus 36 NY Islanders 67 Columbus 97 Columbus
7 Toronto 37 Columbus 68 Toronto 98 Toronto
8 Phoenix 38 Phoenix (from TOR) 69 Phoenix 99 Phoenix
9 Nashville (from FLA) 39 Phoenix 70 Toronto (from FLA) 100 Florida
10 Vancouver 40 Nashville (from FLA) 71 Anaheim (from VAN) 101 Los Angeles (from VAN)
11 Chicago 41 Vancouver 72 Chicago 102 Chicago
12 Anaheim (from EDM) 42 Ottawa (from CHI) 73 NY Islanders (from EDM-ANA) 103 Edmonton
13 Buffalo 43 Anaheim (from EDM) 74 Buffalo 104 Buffalo
14 Carolina 44 Buffalo 75 NY Rangers (from CAR) 105 Carolina
15 Nashville 45 Carolina 76 Nashville 106 Nashville
16 Boston 46 Nashville 77 Boston 107 Boston
17 Calgary 47 Boston 78 Calgary 108 Calgary
18 Ottawa 48 Los Angeles (from CGY) 79 Ottawa 109 Ottawa
19 Columbus (from COL) 49 Phoenix (from OTT) 80 Florida (from COL) 110 Colorado
20 NY Rangers 50 Colorado 81 Los Angeles (from NYR) 111 St. Louis (from NYR)
21 New Jersey 51 NY Rangers 82 New Jersey 112 New Jersey
22 Edmonton (from ANA) 52 New Jersey 83 Anaheim 113 Anaheim
23 Washington 53 NY Islanders (from ANA-EDM) 84 Washington 114 Calgary (from WSH-BOS)
24 Minnesota 54 Washington 85 Anaheim (from MIN) 115 Minnesota
25 Montreal 55 Minnesota 86 Montreal 116 Montreal
26 Buffalo (from S.J.) 56 Montreal 87 St. Louis (from S.J.) 117 San Jose
27 Philadelphia 57 Washington (from S.J.) 88 Los Angeles (from PHI) 118 Philadelphia
28 Los Angeles (from DAL) 58 Washington (from PHI) 89 Dallas 119 Ottawa (from DAL-T.B.)
29 Atlanta (from PIT) 59 Dallas 90 Phoenix (from PIT) 120 Pittsburgh
30 Detroit 60 Toronto (from PIT) 91 Detroit 121 Detroit
    61 Los Angeles (from DET)        

ENTRY DRAFT ORDER OF SELECTION NOTES
Round 1

  • Pick 29 (Pittsburgh to Atlanta): Pittsburgh traded RW Colby Armstrong, C Erik Christensen, C Angelo Esposito and its 1st-round pick in the 2008 Entry Draft to Atlanta for RW Marian Hossa and RW Pascal Dupuis (Feb. 26, 2008).

Round 2

  • Pick 57 (San Jose to Washington): San Jose traded Carolina’s 2nd-round pick in the 2007 Entry Draft (previously acquired) and San Jose’s 2nd-round pick in 2008 to Washington for Buffalo’s 1st-round pick in 2007 (previously acquired) (June 22, 2007).
  • Pick 58 (Philadelphia to Washington): Washington traded Carolina’s 2nd-round pick in the 2007 Entry Draft (previously acquired) to Philadelphia for Nashville’s 3rd-round pick in 2007 (previously acquired) and Philadelphia’s 2nd-round pick in 2008 (June 23, 2007).

Round 3

  • Pick 90 (Pittsburgh to Phoenix): Pittsburgh traded LW Dan Carcillo and its 3rd-round pick in the 2008 Entry Draft to Phoenix for RW Georges Laraque (Feb. 27, 2007).

Round 4

  • Pick 93 (Los Angeles to Washington): Washington traded its 4th-round pick in the 2007 Entry Draft to Los Angeles for Los Angeles’ 6th-round pick in 2007 and 4th-round pick in 2008 (June 23, 2007).
  • Pick 114 (Washington to Boston, conditional to Calgary):
    (1) Washington to Boston: Boston traded D Milan Jurcina to Washington for Washington’s 4th-round pick in the 2008 Entry Draft (Feb. 1, 2007).
    (2) Boston to Calgary, conditional: Calgary traded D Andrew Ference and RW Chuck Kobasew to Boston for D Brad Stuart, C Wayne Primeau and a conditional pick in the 2008 Entry Draft.

Stephen Colbert Solves the HNIC Theme Controversy

Stephen Colbert ruminates on global warming’s impact on the melting ice caps, and what treasures might be unearthed. One that he thinks the U.S. might steal is the HNIC theme. As Colbert puts it, “The theme to ‘Hockey Night in Canada’ makes everything more exciting, especially American things.”

Punching beavers in the face!
[If the embedded video does not work for you, try this link instead.

Finals’ Agony Is the Order of the Spring in PA

We’d be remiss if we failed today to congratulate the Chicago Wolves on doubling the pleasure of our Schadenfreude Spring, in sending yet another Penguins’ team — last night it was Pittsburgh’s affiliate in Wilkes Barre-Scranton — to a playoff finals disappointment. The Wolves claimed the American League’s Calder Cup 4 games to 2 over the mini-mullets. Added to the parent club’s Stanley Cup shortcoming last week, this is doubly delicious. Could there be a crunch-time character issue rampant in the Penguins’ organization, in so uniformly failing in finals’ play?

Savoring the Historic Week That Was

Some time near 8:30 Friday night, Capitals’ fans, having spent weeks residing in a purgatory of indeterminate postseason fate, received an invitation from an seraphim angel named Radek Dvorak to enter an unearthly realm of ecstasy.

At that moment in Raleigh, North Carolina, at 19:48 of period 2, while his team was playing for nothing but pride, the Florida Panthers’ right winger ripped a low wrist shot past Carolina Hurricanes’ netminder Cam Ward to stake the ‘Cats to an unlikely 4-2 lead. The shorthanded tally sucked the life out of a sold-out HBC Center. It also occasioned a big surge in beer swigging and the hugging of strangers by Caps’ fans following in Washington.

A win Friday night and the ‘Canes would have secured the Southeast division title — their third since 2002. Two hours earlier, failure in that endeavor seemed unfathomable; this was a team that had spent all but about two weeks in first place in the Southeast, was just two seasons removed from a Stanley Cup victory, and now had on its heels a Capitals’ team that had known only last-place finishes the last three seasons.

Hockey hopes spring eternal in spring in many parts, but not these. That’s the legacy within which the Era of Ovechkin dawned. And true to script, during Friday’s third period Panther after Panther made a parade to the penalty box, their two-goal lead eventually halved and netminder Craig Anderson under a near 50-shot seige. A spring of supreme stress here coalesced into a dungeon of the highest duress. Samsanov Agonistes.

“In Washington,” one of the Hurricanes’ broadcasters commented early in period 3, “the clock can’t move fast enough.”

Truer words were never spoken. Eventually the game clock in Carolina arrived at zero, Pinehurst no. 3 beckoning the ‘Canes, and in that instant, Caps’ fans were removed from all past April ills and into a springtime Friday night frenzy the likes of which they hadn’t seen since 1998. A Friday night of free-flowing frothies and free love — with perhaps dozens of little babies named Radek arriving at Sibley and Suburban next winter.

Saturday morning HockeyWashington awoke to a surreal reality: seeing the Caps, with a victory that night, move from ninth in the East to third. Better still, the Capitals’ fate was at long last in their own Misson hockey gloves. Actually, by virtue of Carolina’s Friday night flop the Caps technically were already in third, by virtue of playing fewer games and being tied at 92 points with the ‘Canes, but Saturday night’s game against Florida was the team’s final exam on the season — worth 90 percent of its grade.

Red Out
Red Out
If Friday night was a sudden shockwave to the league standings, Tuesday night at Verizon Center was a sonic boom and a one-color kaleidoscope of unity delivered by a region ignited by an amazing sports story. One sensed within a rapidly enlargening hockey supporting community here a collective hunger to get behind a buzz-generating team. The Redskins lost more than they won under Joe Gibbs II. There’s a pedestrian quality to the Wizards — no longer really bad, but never really good, either. The ‘Nats are rebuilding and years away from contending. On Tuesday night in Verizon Center sports Washington was represented in unprecedented volume and unified uniform.

The home crowds for hockey have been growing and large for a couple of months now, but Tuesday’s ranked in another supportive realm. It was so startling to see the Sea of Red precisely because so many enemy sweaters had long filled so many home seats. If there were 18,000 fannies in the seats Tuesday night, 17,500 of them were Caps’ supporters.

“That was the best [home] crowd I’ve ever seen,” Mike Vogel told me over the weekend.

Better than the white-out postseason crowds of the powerful late ’80s Caps’ clubs at Capital Center?

“Those crowds weren’t loud like Tuesday’s,” Vogs added.

All we knew when the team returned home from its spectacularly successful six-game road trip was that it would play before large crowds here — likely, sellouts. We had no idea that the stands-shaking Redskins crowds of raucous old RFK would at last get a run for their rancor on F St.

For hockey.

Late on Wednesday afternoon the Caps’ communications staff, struggling perhaps like the fanbase to keep up with the speed of the hockey’s team’s ascent, announced the continuation of home Red Outs. The modest delay may have played a role in Thursday night’s home environment for Tampa: quite good, but not nearly as Red, not nearly as ear-splitting. The Caps’ nerves on ice that night, too, had a hand in quieting the mood a bit.

For some among HockeyWashington, Saturday’s first eighteen hours were a painful crawl toward a determinative destiny, while for others, savoring suddenly arrived at salvation, time couldn’t stand still enough. After all, morning paper reading, home cleaning, and car oil changing were all performed in third place. I imagined a Saturday morning Sea of Caps’ caps at Costco, among Saturday household chore performing the Red Army wearing the Capitals’ relic Old School look of a failure past now transformed in mere hours’ time into something fresh, vibrant, honor-bestowing, and most especially hip.

Chinatown was Red with anticipation at 4:05. I saw it.

Arriving early in Verizon Center’s press lounge, I surveyed beat media to see where Saturday night ranked in their list of most significant sporting events they’d personally covered. For the Washington Times’ Corey Masisak, only two events — the ACC basketball tournament won by underdog Maryland a few years back and his first Army-Navy football game rivaled the hockey he’d chronicled this March and April and most especially this past week.

“Maryland was like the 6 seed and they went down beat the numbers one, two, and three [seeds],” he told me.

WTOP’s Jonathon Warner has been involved in professional sports journalism for more than 30 years. For him, Saturday night had only George Mason’s Cinderella run in the NCAAs two years back as a rival to the Revival in Red.

“This is huge — this run they’re on, it’s actually given me chills of late,” Warner told me.

“You can feel the buzz,” Steve Kolbe told me. “Washington, D.C., as a whole has grown as a hockey town. That puck drops tonight, we’ll all have goosebumps.”

The Times’ Thom Loverro told me that in his 16 years at the paper Saturday night’s game “ranked right up there” among all regular season games he’d followed in Washington.

Next I asked the Washington Post’s Tarik El Bashir.

“I think you heard me down in the press room earlier tonight ask, has there been another comeback this dramatic in Washington pro sports history?”

“This team was left for dead on Thanksgiving day,” he added.

Tarik’s covered the Indy 500, “where you have 350,000 people,” he noted. But when he considered the lead-up to Saturday night, all of the must-wins the Caps had to have, Saturday raced to the top of his biggest games list.

“We awoke a sleeping giant here,” owner Leonsis, clad again in red, observed late Saturday night. That was a most pleasant observation to encounter Sunday morning, confirming that last week really wasn’t just a dream.

Having a Bad Day?

Vesa Toskala is.  He’s on the wrong end of a 197-foot, short-handed goal.

Victory in the Lion’s Den: A Moment To Savor

Tarik’s Washington Post game file today leads with, “After scoring his second goal of the game, Alex Ovechkin skated toward the corner boards at HSBC Arena, waving his arms in the air, imploring the capacity crowd to increase the volume . . . They did — and he loved every second of it.” Over at the Times, Corey’s game file is headlined, ”Victory for the villian.” Both files allude to Alexander Ovechkin’s bad-guy status in Buffalo – likely made worse last night by his heroics.

There was something superbly schadenfreud-ish for a few fleeting seconds last night as AO skated toward the HSBC plexiglass, victory virtually assured, behind which was perched a confab of the stunned and Slug-sweatered. His arms were raised in triumph, his gaze fixed on them. We wondered what he might possibly have mouthed to them in those sweet seconds of triumph. Then we thought, why not invite our readers to offer up their ideas — the more creative, the better.

So have at it; just what might those sad eyes in their blue-slugged sweaters have lip-read from Ovie?

Ovechkin Celebrates #54 (Photo by Bill Wippert/NHLI via Getty Images)
Ovechkin Celebrates #54 (Photo by Bill Wippert/NHLI via Getty Images)

Developing a “Killer Instinct”?

By now you realize that the Caps secured their 70th point last night, equaling their totals for last two seasons, with still 15 games remaining. The rebuild is indeed over.

This morning the Caps’ communications staff sent out its customary morning-after notes and story links, and in it observed that the team’s last three wins have been achieved comfortably (20-5 is the goals tally in the past four games): “Not sweating out every win has been a nice luxury for the team as it chases its first playoff berth since 2003, and could be a sign that it has developed a killer instinct,” the email noted.

I extolled the virtues of the NHL Network when I first encountered it on my cable system last autumn. There is there now a slate of new promotional commercials every bit as endearing as the ones we reveled in last month. Anyway, very late Monday night and early into Tuesday, with so few league games scheduled last night, the network was a bathhouse of schadenfreude for Capitals’ fans as goal after Capital goal was replayed and richly remarked upon by the network’s studio personalities. I lost a good bit of sleep so schadenfreuding, and I was left with the impression that over the next 10 years we in D.C. could see a whole lot more of such nights on that outlet.

I spent more than 15 minutes talking to Matt Cooke after the game Monday night — everyone else media was hording around Ovechkin, understandably. This is a guy who’s spent the entirety of his not-so-short NHL career in a very winning NHL organization. He’s been here in D.C. about 90 hours. He was Monday night — in no uncertain terms — effusive in his praises for the talent level and human being quality of NHL players newly surrounding him.

I won’t put words in his mouth, but he all but forecasted more beatdowns, this season, of Monday night’s variety. It was Cooke who told me, “Had Toskala not been so good (Saturday), it could have been 6-0 in the first then.” He also told me this: “There’s not one part of [Boudreau's] system here that was in Vancouver. Not one.” I’m telling you, I’ve talked to a lot of NHLers the past two years, and I’ve never heard a guy with this credibility so dispassionately stake so stark a forecast. He’s still somewhat a Capitals’ outsider, but he’s been inside long enough to see what he’s surrounded by. And it impresses him mightily.

If Alexander Ovechkin earns a Hart Trophy this year, we’ll be able to point to some ungodly and perhaps vote-swaying performances by him against some of the league’s flagship franchises: versus Montreal on January 31, which featured the Ovechkin hat trick, and Monday night’s 5-point performance against another Original Six squad, on national television. The Caps travel to Chicago on March 19, where there’s a serious revival taking place, and where there’s an excellent chance of another set of 21,000-plus sets of eyes on him. The Hawks have had like six crowds of over 21,000 in their rink this season. The larger the challenge, the larger Ovechkin seems to perform, and sharing a sheet of ice that night with the revitalized Hawks and their young guns Kane and Toews ought to get his Russian Machine oil pumping.

I’m now of the opinion that when hockey greatness transpires at Verizon Center the two newspapers in town — all other things sports news otherwise being normal — will splash the news in impressive technicolor photojournalism, as we see this morning. That’s a marvelous media maturation directed at what was, say just three months ago, the afterthought sport in town.

And we know who’s leading the Revolution.

Bs Fans at the Phone Booth Tonight

cloverfield.jpgDo not seem to be enjoying themselves.

Update from a press box stats flack: the Bruins actually allowed seven goals in a period on March 7, 1945.

Seconds after the Brashear beatdown of Shawn Thornton, the Verizon Center center ice scoreboard ran a high-def clip of an aged Bob Barker punching-bagging a Bs-sweatered Adam Sandler in ‘Happy Gilmore.’

Ovechkin’s four points on the evening thus far give him 89 on the season, moving him ahead of Evgeni Malkin’s 88.

I was all prepared to post that the Capitals’ seven goals had occurred on 21 shots, then they potted their eighth on their 25th. That Tim Thomas bad karma against D.C., it’s not so evident anymore.

I grabbed a second intermission hot dog and rode the elevator back up with Caps’ goaltending coach Dave Prior. He looked at me and said, “Got a tip for you — Olie is starting the third period.” Cristobal Huet apparently is hurt. “He’s experiencing some discomfort,” is how Prior put it to me.

The Caps’ Press Guide lists 12 goals scored against Quebec on February 6, 1990, as the most by the team in a game, and the lone instance of it, but actually they also scored 12 against Florida (one of Jagr’s few brilliant evenings in a Caps’ sweater) in a 12-2 mauling of the Cats on January 11, 2003.

Kolzig earned a secondary assist on Ovie’s fourth goal of the game; that’s a novel way to get into the lineup — by scoring.

There are some fortunate Bs’ fans in attendance who had the foresight (?) to wear either their Red Sox or Celtics’ garb tonight, rather than anything black and gold. From the press box you can hear some of them seated in the upper deck alluding to the city’s better achievers this evening.

Getting louder: the home crowd’s “T-H-O-M-A-S . . . T-H-O-M-A-S” chant. Soon thereafter, Claude Julien makes his third goalie change of the evening, returning Alex Auld to the carnage, and the home crowd begins a “We wants Thomas!” cry.

“We want 10!” came the next chant. At 18:15 of the third, on the power play, Matt Bradley delivers. A 10-2 crushing by the Caps.

Trending: the Caps have won three of their past four, and outscored their opponents 20-5 in those games. Continue reading ›

One Cheesesteak With a Side of Double Standards, Please

While the Capitals were holding hot-dog eating contests and beating the Leafs last night, the Battle of Pennsylvania was being waged. The Penguins lost to the Flyers, 4-3, but that wasn’t the big story in either town. No, the big topic of discussion was Georges Laraque’s hit on Steve Downie. To no one’s surprise, perspective on the incident has been wildly divergent between the two cities. Here’s Pittsburgh’s take:

When Laraque reflected on it, he saw an incident in which he pushed Downie, not cross-checked him, and did so with absolutely no malice, let alone intent to injure. “If I want to hit somebody from behind,” Laraque said, “he’s not going to get up.”

After witnessing Laraque’s fights from the past, I’m inclined to agree with him. He doesn’t mess around. In the name of fairness, however, here’s Philly’s view:

“It was a very, very dangerous play,” Flyers coach John Stevens said. “Laraque outweighs him by 80 pounds [about 40, according to the rosters]. He was five feet from the boards. It was extremely dangerous.”

Laraque should and likely will be suspended by the league, but there is a bigger problem that only the players can solve. This lack of respect for each other should disturb every player in the game.

Nice embellishment of Laraque’s weight. Does that mean Downie should only fight guys who are in the same weight class as him? Somehow I don’t see Stevens complaining when the shoe’s on the other foot. And where’s that “lack of respect” argument when Downie’s busy inflicting similar “very, very dangerous” hits on other players? It’s interesting how only now Stevens thinks that such hits are “vicious.”

Let’s not forget that Downie wasn’t even hurt. As the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette notes:

Downie did, in fact, get up after a brief time on the ice and, aside from the final 2.6 seconds of the period, did not miss any playing time. At least not until 5:34 of the third period, at which point he was assessed a fighting major and game misconduct for not having his sweater tied down during a bout with Penguins rookie Ryan Stone…”He got up and fought in the third, so I’m not worried about it at all,” Laraque said. “He was fine. He was laughing. He did that job perfectly. He drew a five-minute power play. That was his job, and it worked.” Downie’s take on the sequence was that “stuff like that happens,” and that “we were both going in the corner for the puck.”

So if Downie doesn’t have a problem with it, why should anyone else? It’s not like the guy was decapitated or even injured, though you’d think he was by Philly’s reaction. Far be it for me to side with Pittsburgh on anything, but it’s refreshing to see Downie get a taste of his own medicine, no matter how minor.

Watch the hit here:

Sidney Crosby Attempts Pat Peake Imitation

Ooh la la!

This video’s been making the blog rounds lately, but I figured it was an ideal reminder of why hockey jerseys should never, EVER be tucked in.

Why could I easily see Jagr, Avery, Shanahan, and Drury in the modern-day version of this commercial?

(Be sure to check out the second commercial featuring the same guys over at YouTube.)

Thanks to Capsaholic for the heads-up.

Roadside Refuse in New England

And a single tear rolls down his cheek
And a single tear rolls down his cheek

Schadenfreude in Texas

Kudos to the Dallas Stars’ marketing department for this clever billboard-based dig at the NBA’s referee scandal:

Dallas Stars Billboard
Dallas Stars Billboard

Unsurprisingly, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban loved the billboard according to the Dallas Morning News: “I think it’s hysterical,” Cuban told the newspaper. “Good for them. It’s a fun ad.” 

ESPN has chimed in with other suggested NHL billboards. I enjoyed the Coyotes’ proposed slogan: “100% Arizona Cardinals-Free!”

Only God Can Save Baseball in Baltimore

History — of the lurid, malicious, nauseating, revolting, and unfathomable kind — was made at Camden Yards Wednesday afternoon.

Photo by Nick Wass/AP
Photo by Nick Wass/AP

According to ESPN, Texas’ 30 runs, 27-run victory represent the great smackdown in baseball since 1897. That’s the nineteenth century — two centuries ago. To put the Rangers’ 30 runs in a single game in perspective, if you had Paris Hilton passed out in a frat house of 30 on a Saturday night immediately following mid-term exams, only 29 brothers would score (one or two on average would be gay). Lest you think we’re making up this sordid number, here’s the boxscore.

Just to be clear: it wasn’t the ‘27 Yankees who demolished O’s pitching Wednesday; it was 54-70 Texas.

This will be the Orioles’ 10th consecutive losing season under Peter the Ungreat.

Peter Angelos
Peter Angelos

Success or failure in a professional sports organization begins at the top; in this regard, Caps’ fans are quite lucky. And with this in mind, Skins’ fans shouldn’t chuckle too vociferously at the O’s mess Wednesday; their band leader is every bit as bad, and likely worse, than the Inner Harbor’s trial lawyer who should himself be on trial.

Schadenfreude, Upstate New York Style

Buffalo Sabres White Sweater
Buffalo Sabres White Sweater

A Picture (of Prominent Pens Golfing) Is Worth a Thousand Cans of Iron City

mario2.jpg

Spring’s Sweetest Scent: Rotting Penguin Carcass

The Thursday post-work agenda is slobber-inducing: mosy on over to the Capitol Hill home of close friends and take in Game 5 on their straight-out-of-the-delivery-box-on-Wednesday, 46-inch hi-def television. I’m distinctly technology challenged, but I believe it boasts something like a million pixels. Tonight’s game will literally be its first program viewed. What a baptism! Given the about-to-be-vanquished backdrop for the flightless fowl, the March of the Penguins to the first tee, I feel as if I should arrive in a tuxedo.

cupajoe.jpeg
cupajoe.jpeg

A Comcast technician has been lavishly bribed to arrive there this morning and ensure smooth connection to Versus. It occurs to me that I have not watched an end-of-series shaking of hands in high definition. What a way to end that virginity. At approximately 9:25 this evening I expect to be seated approximately six feet from this wetting of my eyes window, tears of unrelenting Schadenfreude joy streaming down my cheeks and staining my “Iron City Is Swill” t-shirt.

If with the aid of forklifts one were able to draw back the manes of western Pennsylvania mullets this morning one would find an uncommon tally of golf pegs tucked behind ears.

The best part is the manner with which the Mullets are being dispatched. It isn’t as if they are carrying the play only to be bested by a standing-on-his-head Ray Emery. Their best player is 40 years old. And Canada’s preeminent hockey voice is calling out Sir Sidney’s incessant whining on national television.

The reality is as simple as it is undeniable: the Penguins are inadequate. First round inadequate.

What would make my evening completely perfect? If during the center ice shaking of hands Coach Murray were to make his way over the Mullet staff, reach out his hand to Coach Therrien’s, and whisper, “While scouting you guys we watched tape of March 27 in D.C., all that riff-raff in the stands bused in on a weeknight when the rest of the country had to be at work the following morning.”

“This one was for my friends in D.C., too.”

A fella can dream a little, can’t he?

***Breaking News*** — Pens Make No Progress with Pittsburgh Pols

Pittsburgh CBS television affiliate KDKA this afternoon is reporting that Penguins’ owner Mario Lemieux is set to inform NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman that months’-long discussions between the team and city officials have produced little toward an agreement on a new arena, and that his ownership group has no recourse but to look elsewhere.

In a letter to Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell, Allegheny County Executive Dan Onorato, and Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl, Lemieux said that the Pens “have no choice but to declare an impasse and to notify NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman that we will aggressively explore relocation.”

The Ghost” to Crosby: Please Leave

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One of our favourite words at OFB is Schadenfreude: “enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others.” Our latest enjoyment comes from Dallas, where everything is bigger, but not Sidney Crosby.

According to Martin Leclerc at Le Journal de Montreal, Crosby attended a private party booked for the All-Star game at a Dallas nightclub called Ghost Bar at the top of the hotel W. At this point, the NHL and the MSM have pounded in our heads that Crosby is only 19. A “good Samaritan” let the management know that they had an underage patron on their hands. Just after 12:30 am, Crosby was escorted outside.

Don’t Mess with Texas!

Don't Mess With Texas
Don't Mess With Texas

A tap of the stick on the ice to James Mirtle and Eyes on the Prize for alerting us to this gem.

Update: Project Pennsylvania Moving Vans

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No fewer than three fresh items of delicious print media to acknowledge for Schadenfreude-minded Caps’ fans as it relates to Mullet Insolvency and Homelessness. The first, which runs in this morning’s Pittsburgh Tribune Review, is headlined “Lemieux ‘very disappointed’ over arena talks.” Some salient excerpts:

“Penguins co-owner Ronald Burkle met for almost two hours [last] Thursday night with [Gov. Ed] Rendell, Allegheny County Chief Executive Dan Onorato, Mayor Luke Ravenstahl and Detroit businessman Don Barden . . . Lemieux said the meeting “wasn’t very good” . . . “Our people were offended and very disappointed,” Lemieux said.”

And:

“Team officials have been concerned about how much money they might lose by staying at Mellon Arena the next two seasons rather than moving to Kansas City. . .”

There is a bit of a six-slinger-showdown-at-sunset quality to the Pittsburgh Post Gazette’s file, also appearing today, headlined “Politician: Best deal is on the table”:

” . . . given what happened last week, the team likely will step up talks with Kansas City and might explore options in other cities as well . . . Asked about the chances of Kansas City coming strongly into the picture or the Penguins making another visit there, Lemieux said, “No comment.” Three times.”

And last but by far not least, the Houston Chronicle’s web site late last night ran word of Lemieux and his beleaguered band of impoverished ownership teammates traveling to that fair southern port to talk moving.

We are no Johnny-Blogger-come-latelys when it comes to reveling in the agony of the mulleted. Weeks back we published an internal roundtable discussion of the Pens’ dire straits. Today we renew our pledge not only to keep you informed of developments as they rev up out West but also that OFB will volunteer some of its own moving van muscles should that blessed day arrive.