A devoted worshiper at the Church of Old Time Hockey, and imbued with resounding cynicism, I couldn’t help but think: We in D.C. have become so saturated with soft, perimeter play by our hockey players — most especially in spring — that it shouldn’t be surprising that some observers here find Callahan’s impression of William Wallace . . . so alien. One interpretation of the perpetual scratching of Jeff Schultz is that the Capitals’ new head coach thinks like I do.

An alternative interpretation of Callahan’s gallantry could go something like this:  That motherf*cker is damned tough to play against, and for the past couple of seasons, the talent-challenged Rangers have well reflected their captain’s grit and determination, by decree of their head coach, and given more talented clubs a real run for their money (especially in spring). Ryan Callahan is one hell of a captain. He will be one hell of an American Olympian captain as well.

Today, that talent gap with the rest of the East for New York has been closed quite a bit, and for me it’s no coincidence that playing inspired, finish-your-checks hockey the Rangers reside at the very top of the conference. Soon, they’ll get their best defenseman in the lineup (Marc Staal), for the first time this season, making them even tougher to play against. The Rangers are built the way serious contenders are — from the net out, big and brawny, with an unmistakable net-clearing ethos in front of the net, and mobile and skilled on the blueline. Served the Bruins rather well last spring.

Perhaps before we criticize another team’s captain and his teammates for excessive sacrifice and courage we ought to see to it that ours is within driving distance of the Viking, Alberta, meter of toughness and tenacity.

The Washington Capitals of the past five years haven’t exactly been known for the selfless sacrifice of their bodies for the betterment of the team, for finishing their checks. In fact, especially in spring, they have fairly earned the reputation of being a team that’s easy to play against, one that comparative lunch pale squads want to draw in the postseason. To state the obvious: there is today no Capitals player quite like Ryan Callahan, and there hasn’t been for some years. Once upon a time, though, there was. The good news is that the former Capitals’ captain is now behind the team’s bench. There, he’s attempting to change a country club culture.

He needs time — cultures, of course, aren’t changed in a week or a month.

Almost certainly, he also needs more Patrick division bodies. More on that in a moment.

Speaking of instructional moments, HBO’s ’24/7′ this month is again affording more stark relief for Capitals fans insofar as how the rugged East comports itself. Watching the intermission exhortations of John Tortorella and Peter Laviolette is not far removed from listening to the warrior words of William Wallace. At their conclusion I find myself clutching my abdomen on my couch to make sure no Rangers or Flyers stick blades make their way through the TV screen at me, and necessarily I’m reminded of the contrast Dan Bylsma brought with our guy on last year’s series (“Hit Green.”).

George McPhee hired Dale Hunter because he believed him to be the best possible coach for the Capitals at the present moment, and part of that formulation perhaps included his conviction that Hunter could be the architect for revamping both the style and ethos of the club. My guess is that Coach Hunter is taking inventory of the roster he has and will report rugged shortcomings to the GM in short order.

The arrival of 2012 really brings a demarcation moment for the Washington Capitals. To posit any plausible playoff success next spring the Caps necessarily will have to get past the pesky and gutsy and supremely sacrificing Rags, the larger and skilled Flyers and Bruins. I’m not sure that as comprised the Capitals would be favored in any series. But 2012 also brings Washington’s return to the reconstituted Patrick division. The Capitals of the past five years have been assembled to compete quite well in the softer Southeast. In the next calendar year the hockey for the guys in  red necessarily gets rougher and tougher.

Looking ahead to 2012 and beyond, there is cause for concern. When you inventory the Capitals’ prospects holdings at Hockeysfuture, with an eye toward who among just the top 15 qualifies as a North American forward prospect tipping the scales at at least 6 ’0, 180 pounds (hardly power forward in stature), the calculation is stunning: zero. Then for fun take a look at the size of the prospect holdings for the Rags, Flyers, Pens, and Devils — and just in their top 10. The Rangers are awaiting on reinforcements like Chris Kreider (6 ’2, 200), J.T. Miller (6 ’1, 198), and defenseman Dylan McIlraith (6 ’4, 215, nicknamed the Undertaker). Philly, ravaged by injury this season, has already received notable contributions from young, big-bodied North Americans like Brayden Schenn and Sean Couturier. The Pens have Eric Tangradi (6 ’4, 232), Dustin Jeffrey (6 ’1, 205), Robert Bortuzzo (6 ’3, 196), and Brian Strait (6 ’0, 200) in the pipeline. From the development perspective, we’re coming to the Patrick rechristening party next season with jockeys.

I still suggest that in hindsight it was right to draft the likes of Brian Sutherby, Nolan Yonkman, and Joe Finley. Things didn’t work out with them; injuries eviscerated their respective development. But the Capitals obviously have gotten away from drafting size and guile and grit, and beginning in 2012, they need it badly. Funny: The ‘New-look’ NHL at the top of the East these days rather resembles the old, in stature. The Capitals hold two first-round picks and potentially Colorado’s second-rounder next June. Those picks need to resemble NFL linebackers or safeties in size, and here’s hoping Dale Hunter — uniquely qualified to assess the attributes of top junior talent — is at the draft table for their selection, and subsequently their development.

Yesterday a loud chorus of concern arose all about digital D.C. and on talk radio, related to the standing of the Caps as we approach the All Star Game break. It’s well-placed, well-pitched concern, I say.

No longer can spectacularly underwhelming showings like those in Florida this week be written off as exhibitions of a meaningless autumn; post January 1, NHL games take on increased importance, as the league’s trade deadline (February 28) looms and managers must determine whether they are buyers or sellers, and what pieces must be added or subtracted for postseason contention. The Capitals these days are making a compelling case for George McPhee to be a buyer this trade deadline season. And perhaps in bulk.

I stunned my new media colleagues up in the press box early on in the season when I confided in them: ‘I don’t like this team.’ Without even an audition a player (Tomas Fleischmann) whose performance last spring was ghastly was awarded second-line center duty. Today Flash is a member of the Colorado Avalanche, and thriving — on the wing, his natural position. Similarly, there was work to be done on the blueline this past offseason, but there, too, George McPhee deferred. Meanwhile, his GM colleagues all about the East (especially in Pittsburgh and the Southeast) loaded up for bear.

If we were to draft Articles of Impeachment against the Caps near the midway mark of this season, the evidence would be compelling.

DNS is my shorthand for “Did Not Show.” I haven’t had much occasion to use it for a Capitals team since Jaromir Jagr left town. But I am using it this season, and the frequency with which it’s fairly applied is what is perhaps most troubling to me about this team. My list:

• 11/19 ATL (0-5)

• 11/22 NJ (0-5)

• 12/9 FLA (0-3)

• 12/12 NYR (0-7)

• 1/12 TAMPA (0-3)

There isn’t a juggernaut among that list, either. Six shutouts already for a team bearing (ostensibly) four or five high-scoring stars? And that’s not merely five super lousy efforts listed above; (there have been those as well); that’s five outings halfway through the season for which the team arrived at puckdrop lifeless, indifferent to the game’s developments as it progressed, and remained that way for the full 60 minutes. These were betrayals of the crest. Impeachment-inaugurating instances of infamy.

In the case of the Caps and the Southeast division this season, shockingly, the three-time defending champions may well be underdogs to win it. Last season the Caps won the Southeast by nearly 40 points, and largely through attrition and promotion, were believed to have strengthened their roster in the offseason. Wednesday night in Tampa first place in the Southeast was at stake. The hosts had shut out the Caps in D.C. the previous week. As “big games” in winter go, this was a big one. Not only didn’t the Caps score again against Tampa, they didn’t show up for the showdown.

Again.

This fanbase is showing up alright — in hordes, over great travel. You notice the Red-out behind the team bench every night on the road. The least this club can do is show up.

I’d be the first in town to suggest that the NHL’s regular season is meaning-deficient, and I fairly led a chorus that noted back in fall that this regular season especially was going to be meaning-challenged for this club. But there’s a difference between skating inconsistently, picking your spots for inspired play, out of a deficit of motivation, and not showing up for games at all.

A team hopeful of contending in the NHL postseason generally needs at least two solidly productive forward lines. These Caps don’t have one. Across the board of the skilled forward corps there is conspicuous under-achievement.

The young goaltending was thought by some to be a potential Achilles heel heading into the season. Not so; the dynamic duo of Neuvirth and Varlamov is blameless for this mess.

The defense is improved, as Scott Hannan has helped forge an effective first pairing on the blueline. John Carlson and Karl Alzner have exhibited conspicuously few growing pains, and on more than a few nights in the season’s first half have been the best blueliners in red. Jeff Schultz, no longer overmatched in matchups up top, has struggled still at times (hello -3 Wednesday); that +50 of a season ago was certainly a mirage. Tom Poti swiftly has become brittle. (He’s back on the shelf again.) Both members of that third pairing have new, multi-year contracts. Not cheap ones, either. It’s more than $5 million in third-pairing partners the next couple of seasons. Question for the GM: What exactly was the urgency to get Poti re-upped so early in autumn?

Increasingly we are encountering inventive excuses for the Capitals’ disturbingly deficient play this season. Carolina Hurricanes’ General Manager Jim Rutherford recently suggested with a straight face that Alexander Ovechkin is playing possum. Our owner this week suggested that his players are “subconsciously pacing themselves.”

Maybe there’s another excuse: Maybe there was work to be done this past offseason, it didn’t get done, and now the team is trying to alter on the fly. High crime, that.

Also: Where is the leadership?

On the front of aesthetics, there is yet more damning evidence. The Capitals achieved Golden Team status — and Winter Classic invitation — on the basis of brandishing a beautiful, fanbase growing brand of razzle-dazzle, one which showcased a new generation of hip Young Gun talent. It was a style the league understandably wanted to grow the sport upon. Well, that’s been abandoned. Today in its place is the trap. Caps’ games these days are close to unwatchable, even in barely-eeked-out victory.

Stylistically, the Caps are the Nats in skates. Or maybe that’s giving them too much credit; the Nats at least have an identity (dull). The Caps are experiencing an identity crisis.

And what of the Red Army’s rightful expectation of patronizing a regular season of achievement and distinction? This hockey club wasn’t marketed on a season-long experiment of blight and confusion and identity crisis. Things didn’t work out in 2009-10, but there was the franchise-best 14-game winning streak of January and February, and sweeping the Pens. What is there about this season to date to hang a touque on? January 1 — won with the aid of a monsoon — and little else. Isn’t part of following a full-fledged contender enjoying the journey from autumn through spring? The Capitals this season are affording their fanbase precious little to relish and savor.

Once upon a time not long ago we watched a Red Force unleash its fury. Theirs was the hot ticket in town. A city fell in love with the spectacle. Faces for game nights were painted red.

Today faces are reddening with anger.

Monday night at Verizon Center was a drama that took a horrific turn for the hosts in the game’s final 10 minutes, when a Capitals’ club combined a lethargic work ethic with too soft a shell in their own end, watching a 4-1 lead evaporate in the final frame before succumbing to Toronto 5-4 in a shootout. Toronto entered play Monday night tied with the Islanders for the fewest road wins in the league.

It wasn’t as if the Caps hadn’t had warning about the possibility of such a fate. On the Leafs’ last visit to town on November 3 the Caps took a 3-1 lead into the final 20 minutes only to watch the Leafs surge out to a 4-3 lead. The Caps prevailed 5-4 in a shootout that night. Two nights later the Caps lost a 3-0 third period lead at home against the Bruins. The Caps still have one of the best records in the league, and their record at home (12-2-2) is the envy of most; but losing commanding leads late this season is more than mildly unsettling.

It wasn’t a night to remember for Nicklas Backstrom. Despite recording two assists on the evening, the Caps’ top center skated a -2 and was on the ice for all three Leafs’ goals in the final 20 minutes. He was off his game Monday night.

The Caps did lose defenseman Jeff Schultz midway through the game with a fractured thumb. He’ll be out four to six weeks, Bruce Boudreau noted in his postgame address to the press, which was shorter than any recent TV promo for the Winter Classic. “We quit playing in our zone,” the subdued coach said.

The plot unfolded rather nicely through the opening 40 minutes. The Capitals, looking to rebound from Saturday night’s deflating 3-1 setback against Atlanta, rode an Energizer Bunny pivot from Quebec out to a 4-1 lead against the Leafs. And through two periods Monday night it looked as if HBO had another ‘Rudy’ storyline unfolding before its cameras, as Mathieu Perreault, recalled earlier from Hershey on Monday, scored two impressive even-strength goals to help stake the parent club to what looked to be a comfortable lead. Perreault earned the evening’s second star; to his coach, he was probably the first.

“If some of the other forwards had played with as much energy as [Matty], we wouldn’t have been in the situation we were in,” Gabby noted.

I’ve long wondered what Alexander Semin would look like if he were paired, durably, with an elite playmaking pivot who could keep up with him and who shared his elite hockey sense. Someone not named Nicklas Backstrom, so that the Caps could durably forge two elite scoring lines. On Monday night, Perreault auditioned magnificently for just that role. He was the best Capitals’ forward, probably their best player, and flanked by Brooks Laich on the left, the second line created offense and forechecked effectively. There is a wide open job available in the middle of the ice on the Capitals’ second line, and if Perreault can forge lasting chemistry with the Capitals’ big goal scoring gun this season, and play accountably away from the puck, the job is his.

“Every time I get called up it seems like the first game I’m flying. Now it’s just a matter of doing it every night,” MP85 reflected in postgame defeat.

Really it should have been an HBO hit feature wrapping up in the game’s final 20 minutes. Matty had already secured the first two-goal game of his young NHL career, and the entire arena elevated its collective attention throughout the third period every time he touched the puck; the rink wanted nothing so much as a hat trick from this endearing folk hero. It could have happened, too. With a little over 11 minutes remaining Perreault had Leafs’ defenders off balance and guessing as he quarterbacked the puck into the Leafs’ zone, Semin speeding up through center ice for a stealth feed. Perreault’s patience with the puck opened up a clear shooting lane on Leafs’ netminder Jonas Gustavsson, but instead of shooting Perreault directed a perfect pass that Semin blasted off the crossbar. On the other side of the ice the young center made some nice defensive plays, and he even threw a big hit along the boards. Perreault must live up to his end of the audition bargain, and if he does and if Bruce Boudreau sticks with this line combo there could be some special evenings ahead this winter.

Fair or not, moderate or undersized centers like Perreault commonly are held to higher performance standards. It’s the curse of the puck artist. Even in a brilliant career Denis Savard suffered from it to a degree. On nights when they fail to land on the scoresheet or otherwise deftly set up linemates, such players tend to get singled out as inconsistent, when in point of fact being a regular scorer in professional hockey is very much the exception to the performance rule. It’s the catcall of the size bigots.

Inconsistent very much describes to me Dave Steckel’s play of last season and this, but how much criticism has he garnered for it?

Monday night did offer a silver lining of excitement for the Red Army and its zealous infatuation with MP85.

Also on the plus side of things, the curse of the President’s Trophy resides this morning in Pittsburgh.

• The Bruins, by virtue of their size, are a “tough matchup” for the finesse Caps, we heard much of Tuesday night in the Verizon Center press box. Well, the Capitals could face Boston in the postseason; Tuesday night suggested that that wouldn’t be much fun.

• More Lucic: his goal in the first period — the Bs’ second of the game — was the game winner, and it occurred in warrior’s alley, smack in front of the Caps’ net, with top-pairing defenseman Jeff Schultz perfectly positioned in the slot. Sarge didn’t make a bad play on the goal — he made no play. But that’s his game; it’s positional, not adversarial, in areas of the ice where defenders are best served being brutes. And most of the Caps’ defenders play this way.

• Eighty-plus hockey game seasons deliver their share of it’s-just-not-our-night outings, and Tuesday seemed that way for the hosts. Already without Mike Green and Matt Bradley, the Caps lost their top performer on the young season, Michal Neuvirth, in the first frame. He departed the game with dizziness and a headache and what the team called flu symptoms after surrendering two goals. Semyon Varlamov came on in relief and yielded a single goal on which he was thoroughly screened, and otherwise played rock solid. Meanwhile, his teammates pumped plenty of rubber on Tim Thomas (36 shots, including 18 in the third), and their head coach wasn’t displeased with his skaters’ effort. “I thought in the first 10 minutes, we played as hard as we played all year. But you make a mistake and it’s in the net,” Boudreau told the media afterward.
  

• Alexander Semin was the Capitals’ best forward. Yes he took a bad penalty in the offensive zone, and yes he had a couple of turnovers, but he made a ton of plays, and he pelted Thomas with 10 shots, many of them of high quality.

• On the good news front: the Caps’ penalty kill — among the league’s worst a season ago — continued its remarkable makeover in 2010-11, going 4-for-4 on the night and maintaining its perfect performance on the season (25-for25).

The Charity Hockey Classic is an exhibition game between the Virginia Coaching Cardinals and the NCR Eagles joint military team – all to benefit Inova Blood Donor Services. The event is Saturday, September 11, from 4:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.

Per the CHC team, “The event raises money for new value-added testing machine for Inova Blood Donor Services, providing free screening to donors for diabetes, cholesterol, and heart disease.  Also features a silent auction, appearances by local celebrities – including the Washington Redskins cheerleaders, Capitals mascot Slapshot, and the Red Rockers—and ‘Mites on Ice’ youth hockey exhibitions.”

As a bonus for Caps fans, defenseman Jeff Schultz will serve as the special guest coach for the NCR Eagles joint military hockey team. Brett Leonhardt and Wes Johnson will be there too, and Tara Wheeler will be returning as this year’s intermission game announcer.

Tickets are just 10 bucks; for more information, check out the CHC website. Game on!

The bad news: all of it went to Jeff Schultz. Intimidation quotient on the back end remains unchanged. Level of difficulty playing with the puck in the Caps’ end? Unchanged.

Now for the really bad news: George McPhee wasn’t kidding a week ago when he said he had seven guys he was ready to go with on the back end in 2010-11. He really believes he does. The Schultz signing — that’s top 4 money Sarge was awarded in this deal — signals that the Caps are done refashioning the top four of their blueline for next season. Sleeping easy now?

If you missed that refashioning on the back end, you’ve got company. Actually, it’s unchanged from the top four who earned most of the minutes in game 7 versus Montreal. It’s actually a top four with high-end talent and many years of good hockey ahead. Problem is, it’s not a top four upon which a club desperate — starved — for postseason success ought to rely upon right now. And most of all, it is not a top four that addresses the Capitals’ most glaring need on the back end: the hole that is help for Mike Green.

Mike Vogel has the Caps committed to about $51 million in salary with 19 guys signed under a $59 million cap for 2010-11. Eric Fehr and Tomas Fleischmann figure to gobble up a decent bit of what remains. So absent an unlikely trade, we’re all set on the blueline. Excited yet?

* * * * *

Perhaps to no small degree, and unfairly, Jeff Schultz is the pinata upon which many Caps’ fans want to beat the finesse-Ice Capades approach out of the Capitals’ roster. Sarge here is the collective embodiment for an ethos that is, for these fans, antithetical to a durable stay in the NHL postseason. Evaluating the personnel maneuverings across the East this summer, there can be no mistaking the dichotomy that’s being formed: the Caps once again will attempt to “outskill” the opposition, out-finesse them; their competitors are going big and bully and ice-clogging.

It remains to be seen who’s right in this debate, but yesterday’s contract award for #55 is a fresh stake in the ground by the Capitals’ GM. And it also seems more and more like 2010-11 will carry an air of referendum to George McPhee’s roster building. Were I a manager entering a referendum season most assuredly I’d want some menace in front of my crease.

Almost a week to the day that the Caps passed on signing Anton Volchenkov for $4 million and change they committed $3 million per, beginning in 2012-13, to Jeff Schultz. There’s a symbolism there that’s unavoidable, I submit.

There was praise to be found yesterday on Twitter extolling the virtues of the deal, lauding the Caps for locking up so spectacularly average a defenseman. Problem is, the Caps are placing Sarge in a position on the ice where conspicuously average gets you golfing early in spring. As we’ve seen here for some springs now. Can average be hidden in a top four for a contender? I wonder. In the Caps’ case, however, they’re actually trying (forcing) average on as a Band-Aid for ice left open, vacated by their hybrid defenseman Mike Green. Hence the high-pitched clamor among so many Caps’ fans this summer for McPhee to sign a true, experienced shutdown rearguard.

He has refused to. Again.

* * * * *

There are PR flacks and new media about our town all so adept at producing pretty numbers about our pretty hockey players during our oh so pretty regular seasons. As if such numbers mean dick in game 7s. We’ve become a town of hockey accountants. We’ve become numbed by numbers.

I’m signing up for 82 exhibition games here in 2010-11, but I’ll be referencing no such numbers. Instead, I’ll go to games and tally the number of times our rearguards plant opposing players on their asses when they encamp in front our goalies, or otherwise exact a heavy price in our end. I don’t expect to need a calculator.

* * * * *

The more this offseason matures the more I gain appreciation for the diagnostics of R.J. Umberger. He had no axe to grind with the Caps. He called out the Caps after a game in Columbus late last season. Said our guys were going to be taken down, that their style was ill-suited for the rigors of the NHL postseason. He proved prophetic. His warning hasn’t been heeded in Washington this offseason. It has been heeded elsewhere in the East — among the Capitals’ chief competitors.

* * * * *

This past postseason seared in my psyche the conviction that the NHL is singular among pro sports in showcasing two separate seasons within its calendar season. Conspicuous success in one (the regular season) hardly foreshadows prosperity in the other (postseason). I believe the Caps deserve great credit for assembling a roster that simply cannot be competed with in the Southeast division October through March, and as fans love winter-long winners, with all those wins come filled seats. The Capitals again are sold out all of next season.

The jury, however, is very much still out about the suitability of this Capitals roster for the postseason. I am one who does not view the April failure against Montreal in any singular sort of way, and rather looks out over the past three postseasons and tabulates enormous struggle against all comers, even the lowest seeds. For me those are warning signs.

* * * * *

Incidentally, last summer, the Capitals could have signed unrestricted free agent Hal Gill, who of course ended up in Montreal. Gill of course has skated prime roles for opposition who’ve defeated the Capitals the past two postseasons.

Something for you perhaps to meditate on during our encounters with the Atlantic division this coming season: for the grand sum of $6.5 million dollars the Capitals this fall could have dressed Gill and Volchenkov in their sweater.

The Habs this season will be paying Gill $2.25 million.

Capitals Sign Defenseman Jeff Schultz to Four-Year Contract

ARLINGTON, VA. – The Washington Capitals have signed defenseman Jeff Schultz to a four-year contract, vice president and general manager George McPhee announced today. In keeping with club policy, financial terms of the deal were not disclosed.

Schultz, 24, played 73 games for the Capitals in 2009-10 and led the NHL with a +50 rating, the best single-season rating in franchise history. He became the first defenseman to lead the NHL in plus/minus rating since 2005-06 (Michal Rozsival and Wade Redden) and the first Capital to lead the league in that category. Offensively he recorded career highs in assists (20) and points (23) and averaged a career-high 19:51 of ice time per game. He led the team with 129 blocked shots.

The Calgary, Alberta, native was the Capitals’ first-round choice, 27th overall, in the 2004 Entry Draft. He has played in 247 career games for Washington, recording 56 points (nine goals, 47 assists) and just 97 penalty minutes. He has a +80 rating in his career.

An interesting radio listen on the topic of Jeff Schultz’s value: Japers Rink Radio, from June 5th.

The 120-pt.-plus Capitals need an oil change and a new set of tires in this inspection season.

It’s the Rangers who need an engine overhaul.

Automotive tinkering in hockey — new lubricant for efficient engine running, newness of tire treads — principally (but not entirely) arrives from the farm garage, I think. George McPhee has already inspected his engine a bit and identified some well-worn parts: Morrisonn/Morrison valves; a Walker spark plug; a Jurcina gasket; a Corvo thermostat; a Theodore muffler.

But there are two important parts George McPhee has to order on special, for they’re not in his garage: a second-line center and a shutdown Dman.

Let’s start with the most difficult part to replace.

Mike Green, methinks, is a hybrid of a blueliner, a designation that by now ought to be accepted and even celebrated by Capitals’ fans. He works well in this sportscar’s engine. He isn’t the type of part you put in the engine of a family sedan, but if you want to motor out on the Autobahn, spend the dough and rev it up. But accelerating as he does, he’s apt to run hot with overuse. He needs an important supporting part. It’s not in the best interest of this sportscar to treat his overuse with Schultz duct tape.

A Hockeys Future respondent ID’d as Atlas recently went a bit beyond the garage metaphor in describing this challenge:

“The problem with Green, IMO is the same as the problem with Semin. BB expected top production from both guys while matching them with subpar NHL players. Green’s interview after the loss to Montreal looks legit to me. He was pissed. He’s a Canadian boy who cares. I’ll take that. But if he’s gonna be the #1 D you’ve got to pair him with a stud defensive player who can pick up his slack a little. Schultz is a pylon. He doesn’t scare Richards, Carter, Malkin, Crosby. Schultz wouldn’t hurt a fly. He’s a nice guy and I’d buy him a beer but in the NHL playoffs if he’s in the top defensive pair your team will lose. Pronger is on the other side killing babies and Schultz is baking cookies.”

A little vehicular manslaughter is in order on our roadtrip to glory, this HF poster might posit. I would agree that Chris Pronger is a Pirelli on grade A muscle car. Ready to add Pirelli models Carlson and Alzner on the back of their car this summer, can the Capitals locate a third opposite Green via free agency?

I think so. His name is Anton Volchenkov. He’s perhaps the premiere shotblocking blueliner on the planet (insomuch as he blocks every shot Alexander Ovechkin takes). He also likes to throw his weight around. There are reports that the Captials aren’t the least bit interested in his services. Maybe. But I wonder.

Volchenkov is 28, not in his middle thirties as were Michael Nylander or Brendan Morrison or Mike Knuble when they were acquired via free agency. While virtually universally regarded as the premiere UFA blueliner available this summer, Volchenkov’s not expected to command anything close to a Pronger salary or term. Given the Capitals’ glaring need at the top of their blueline, given the relatively little wear on Volchenkov’s tires, were the Capitals not to pursue him, whom exactly would they ever go after in free agency?

I also wonder this: just as George McPhee has acknowledged that he has an ace card to play with premiere Russian talent at every Entry Draft, could it not also be the case that he’d have one with premiere Russian UFAs? Could it not be the case that he could — were he interested — lure someone like Volchenkov to D.C. without necessarily ponying up the market’s best contract? I wonder.

It’s unfair to Jeff Schultz to place him again in the role demanded of him last season. He is serviceable rather than shutdown. He could excel in a more modest role on the Capitals’ blueline. He’s a spare tire of sorts.

A second-line center is another glaring part needed for a longer, safer roadtrip next postseason. In the unrestricted free agency market this summer, however, that candidate part isn’t nearly so identifiable. It’s highly likely that the Capitals have this player in their development pipeline (Mathieu Perreault; Evgeny Kuznetsov; perhaps Marcus Johansson), however in the here and now that part must be ordered.

A trade with another auto shop manager is probably required.

And in changing out his engine’s oil Mechanic McPhee likely has all the grades he needs in his Hershey garage. I’m not sure Andrew Gordon has any more to prove as a Bear. He’s a terrific skater and he uses his speed to deliver hard and bruising thumps. The Caps could use a little more thumping in their lineup. And speaking of bruising thumping, I’d really like to see Steve Pinizzotto given a real long look at fall camp. The road ahead is bumpy indeed; it’s good to have reliable shock absorbers.

The Capitals in game one of their first-round series against Montreal fired 47 shots on Habs’ netminder Jaroslav Halak. Ovechkin didn’t have a single one of them. Not one, through nearly four periods of hockey.

Ovechkin wasn’t quite invisible — the style of game he plays ensures he can’t be — but he was conspicuously impact-less in this opening postseason game. Brutal, really.What exactly did the Habs do to so thoroughly, so effectively bottle up the world’s greatest hockey player? Bruce Boudreau talked about Montreal’s success with gap control, meaning, Habs’ blueliners and forwards maintained ideal spacing among one another during Ovi’s shifts, thereby limiting his time and space for playmaking and shooting. It doesn’t take much of a wrong turn or angle by a defender for Ovi to exploit it, but Thursday night the Habs were ever in position to thwart the revving of the Gr8′s great engine.

And Gabby in the postgame pulled no punches in assessing his captain’s game: “He didn’t play good. I mean, they gapped up on him really well, but I don’t think Alex played very well. I can’t put my finger on it right now, but when you get 50 shots on goal and Ovechkin doesn’t get any and you have four power plays . . . They took him away pretty good, but I just didn’t think he was very good tonight.”

• Is there a favorite’s curse in the NHL this spring?

• Hal Gill had a lot to do with Ovi’s fantastically frustrating outing. Gill, who won a Cup with Pittsburgh last spring, skated 25 minutes and blocked nine shots — and seemingly all of Ovi’s. Gill made no one forget Paul Coffey with his skating Thursday night, but that’s not why the Habs acquired him. He takes up space and he clears the Habs’ crease and he puts his 12 years of NHL experience to good use in a postseason.

• There was little love for Halak from Capitals’ Head Coach Bruce Boudreau afterward. “We had a lot of shots but we didn’t have a lot of great quality chances after the first period. The chances we did have we shot wide or didn’t shoot at all . . . He played good, but I don’t think he did anything we didn’t think he was capable of doing.” His comments sound eerily reminiscent of last year’s first round matchup against the New York Rangers. The difference with last year’s first round being that Gabby thought the Caps were making the saves too easy for Henrick Lundqvist. Goals in the postseason most often are scored down low and with shear strength and determination, far less often from pretty passing plays or long shots from the point.

• When do you imagine we might next see Nicklas Backstrom finish off a potential game-winning three-on-one break by shooting the puck into a fallen defender’s pants . . . from behind the opponent’s goal cage? Never, methinks. That was a shocking fit of overthinking inaction from one of the planet’s best playmakers.

• A handful of Capitals had outstanding games Thursday, most especially Jose Theodore and John Carlson. Theo demonstrated early on a general comfort in his crease, seeing the puck exceptionally well, playing solidly positionally, controlling rebounds rather well, and taking effective angles on Habs’ shooters.

• Carlson was perhaps the Capitals’ best defender Thursday, and before this series is through, he may well be judged the most effective defenseman in both ends for either team. Thursday was of course his first NHL playoff game. He skated a +1 in nearly 22 minutes of ice time. He never looked out of place, he never lacked poise, he was alternately reliable and dynamic. He is going to be a star rearguard in this league.

• Winning a lot of faceoffs generally is a recipe for success, and the Caps won a lot of them in game one: 63 percent. Eric Belanger was a staggering 18-3 on draws.

• Another Russian AWOLer: Alexander Semin. He largely deployed his floater game of ineffectual shift-taking. With the Caps’ two most lethal offensive attackers missing from the attack the hosts really made the evening relatively stress-free for their guests, most especially after the first period, despite the overall high volume of shots. Bruce Boudreau wasn’t particularly impressed by the volume of shots his team generated because of the meager quality of so many of them.

• The absolute best word I could assign to the collective tension and anxiety that was palpable in the Capitals’ postgame locker room and in the hallways of Verizon Center’s event level from 10:00 on last night is foreboding. Not full-on panic, not depression, but foreboding. That word seems to convey a bit of a pervasive purgatory existence, and it seemed to comport with the strained-but-not-quite pained looks on faces from George McPhee to minority ownership to locker room attendants to bloggers.

• Snapshot of foreboding: Jeff Schultz, merely a franchise-best-ever +50 on the season, offers an uncanny impersonation of Sergei Gonchar circa 2001 — an anti-Gene Kelly fit of unhappy feet — while playoff overtime backpeddaling near his own blueline, falling down without cause, surrendering a prime scoring opportunity to the adversary.

• On the positive side of things, the Capitals have won five of nine playoff series in which they have lost Game 1. However, they now stand at 15-22 all time in postseason overtime efforts.

No fewer than 87 individuals affiliated with media in Montreal made credential requests of the Capitals for last night’s game. We were at times three-deep in a press box gallery last night, with Canadian broadcast outlets — radio and TV — forced into calling the game standing and completely exposed to the heavy traffic of an overloaded media space, and consider that the Caps had fairly filled the media lounge downstairs as well. I heard more French spoken last night that I did in three years of taking the language in high school.

There is a swagger to the Montreal press corp beyond its bloated size. One of the first questions directed at Canadiens’ head coach Jaques Martin during his postgame presser came from an out-of-towner who asked, with haughty derision, about the play of “Tomas Jagr . . . Jagr . . . Tomas Plekanec,” an unmistakable dig at Capitals’ netminder Jose Theodore and his in-artful attempt to dismiss Plekanec’s muted respect for the goaltending duo in D.C.

I’ve been through a few of these unwanted white-knuckler offerings of foreboding with underdogs everyone had writtten off. In the intermission between last night’s third period and the overtime I made an impromptu appearance on the radio with Jonathon Warner of Federal News Radio, who solicited my thoughts in that moment I think precisely because of the volume of grey hair I’ve accumulated at this time in the calendar. A best of seven series most often produces a worthy, superior victor. Most often. But not always. A ludicrously hot netminder can steal a series. Or, a prohibitive favorite can squeeze too tightly the sticks that inflicted heavy damage during a comparatively trivial regular season.

It’s too early to tell if Jaroslav Halak will outplay Jose Theodore and remind Caps’ fans of the Ghosts of Kelly Hrudey and Ken Wreggett past. It is perhaps not too early to forecast our being here a while in this series to sort it all out.