30 August, 2008

Category Archives: NHL Linesmen

And The Winners Are . . .

The winners in the OFB contest for Referee Taunts are:

  • Hey ref… get off your knees! You’re blowing the game!
  • Hey ref! Does your wife know you’re screwing us?

If you’d like a Friday chuckle, check out the thread with all reader-submitted ref abuse if you haven’t done so already. To all those who participated: your year-round readership and enthusiasm for hockey are both heartening and humbling. Thank you!

[Winners will be contacted via email. In the case of multiple submissions, the first to submit the taunt is the winner.]

Hey Ref! The Finalists Await Your Votes

First OFB readers shared their favorite Capitals moments. This time we see Capitals fans creatively directing their passion at the game’s zebras — with often hilarious results

We’ve listed our top 6 OFB reader submissions below. Your votes will determine the winners; the top two vote-getters will receive a selection of OFB loot. Polls close at midnight Eastern time on Thursday, August 14 — so in this painfully protracted primary season, here’s your chance to make your vote count! Check out the full thread for some more classics, and many thanks to all who participated.

Ref You Suck
Which is your favorite: HEY REF! . . .
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Ref, You Suck! Insulting Hockey’s Men in Stripes

The hockey-less heat of August provides one welcome relief for the NHL fan: freedom from the often egregious and grotesque officiating of NHL referees.

Though no stripe-clad man is currently jobbing the Capitals, we can still use this time to hone our taunting skills. Bellowing at refs is a long-standing tradition . . . and sure, there’s a homer’s bias to whether a given call was really botched, but the primal scream therapy of berating officials can release the pent-up steam accumulated as referees seemingly hand games to your team’s opponents.

Many clever and occasionally cringe-worthy insults have been hurled at hockey officials, though as my friend’s two-year-old son showed at a Capitals game a couple years back sometimes simple is best:

We’ve provided a few favorite/classic taunts below. I overhead my [Mike's] personal favorite about 6 years ago in Section 426, shouted in impressively loud fashion by a woman who was at least 70 years old if she was a day: “Hey ref — you must be pregnant, ’cause you’ve missed three periods!”

How do you let the refs know their job performance is sub-par? Or what’s one of your all-time favorites you’ve overheard? Omit the profanity (feel free to use the %*#$ing symbols if need be) and please no racist/homophobic/etc. insults . . . but even within those guidelines you still have plenty of room to share delightfully dastardly taunts with your fellow readers.

We’ll select two favorites among the submissions and award each winner with an OFB goody. Help us fill out the list to a Dirty Dozen. Submissions accepted until 5:00 PM Eastern on Monday, August 11 — so taunt early, taunt often!

  • If you had another eye you’d be a cyclops!
  • Save a Deer: Shoot a Zebra
  • Hey ref — you must be pregnant, ’cause you’ve missed three periods!
  • Have another doughnut! (courtesy of Jim Schoenfeld)
  • BULLLLL-SH*T! (Hershey Giant Center version)
  • Bend over and use your good eye!
  • Hey ref, I thought only horses slept standing up!
  • I hope you die in a fire! (overheard in Philly, of course)
  • I’m blind, I’m deaf, I want to be a ref!
  • Hey ref, I’m leaving with your wife — even she’s disgusted with you.
  • ________ (add yours as a comment)

And if you don’t wish to rely on Lady Luck (or our fickle judging) for OFB loot, feel free to check out our store.

Sunday Bloody Sunday at the Worlds

A World Championship that in its first week was marked by superb officiating (you didn’t hear anything about the guys in stripes, right? That means something.) took an abrupt turn for the markedly worse Sunday, as incompetent on-ice work by the four men in stripes working Sunday’s U.S.-Finland tilt had a partner in crime off it.

Finland bested the U.S. 3-2, but few who watched or followed it will think much about the score when so much madness over the course of 60 minutes ensued thanks to the officiating crew. They’re pictured below. They shamed their mothers on Sunday. This is what U.S. head coach John Tortorella had to say after the game:

“I’ve heard about these horror shows as far as international refereeing. I have finally lived through one. It’s just ridiculous as far as how they’re calling the game when you have two pretty competitive teams willing to go toe-to-toe. Let the teams and players decide.”

It was a rare instance in international hockey in which a game’s officials constantly interjected themselves into what should have been a classic hockey game contested between two great hockey nations, robbing the game of flow and especially of its five-on-five strategies. The zebras whistled 23 infractions, and things got ‘74 Broad Street Bully-ish at the final horn. We recommend that you take a glance of the game’s official scoresheet here.

It was a disgraceful performance by the on-ice officiating crew. But it was matched by incompetency off it. Finland’s first goal of the game wasn’t a goal — it went through the side of Robert Esche’s net. The play was reviewed and, mystifyingly, upheld as a goal.

By the third period exasperated players and coaches on both sides, on the ice and on the two benches, could be seen laughing in surrender at the officials for their ludicrous efforts.

The IIHF was forced into a supremely embarrassing position afterward: acknowledging the non-goal mistake and firing the off-ice official! Give the Federation credit for swiftly taking action and attempting to restore credibility to its championships.

The NHL certainly could learn a lesson from this action.

Appreciation for the Striped Ones

Check out the candid discussion with NHL referee Kelly Sutherland in ESPN The Magazine (or, via the link, on ESPN The Website). It’s a brief but enjoyable reminder that, as much as fans may revile the men in stripes, they too are fans of the game and work hard to get the calls right. I particularly enjoyed Sutherland’s anecdote of being mistaken for Kerry Fraser in his first and being heckled with a hearty “Fraser, you suck!” even before the puck dropped.

In light of linesman Pat Depuzzo’s injury ten days ago, take a moment and appreciate the on-ice officials, without whom there could be no game.

Profile in Linesman Courage

One noteworthy aspect of today’s Flyers-Rangers’ matinee in Philly was the shutout pitched by Blueshirt backup netminder Steve Valiquette. The Caps will most assuredly see Henrik Lundqvist tomorrow afternoon at Verizon Center.

But in today’s second period in Philly linesman Pat Dapuzzo suffered a brutal skate-to-face injury that opened him up in slasher-film fashion. Congruent to the incident was a spontaneous outburst of fisticuffs between the clubs — no fewer than three slow dances (Steve Downie using Fedor Tyutin like a punching bag most notable among them). Somehow, Dapuzzo got to his feet and skated through two zones, a robust trail of his blood following (and leading) him, in a remarkable attempt to assist his officiating colleagues in stemming the melee. Arrived at the brawling, he was almost instantly ushered to medical assistance from both teams’ trainers.

Hockey players are often — and rightly — lauded for their courage in competing through pain and savage injury. Dapuzzo today reminded us that the entire ice sheet is staffed with profiles in courage.