Hockey yesterday fell to one knee and offered me its hand. The NHL Network, you see, debuted some time yesterday afternoon on my cable television provider, Comcast. It would have been a same-sex marriage between us, and I’m not real big on those. So we’ll live together.
Twenty four hours a day of the league, in high definition. Lover, hold me.
I’m genuinely composure-challenged at this writing, so indulge me. We’re in the infatuation stage, you see.
Even the station’s commercials are hockey-related, for goodness sake. “Call me back during a commercial,” a friend or family member will instruct me at various points this winter. Ain’t happening.
Some of the commercials promo team-specific DVDs highlighting great seasons of the past, and while I have zero interest in purchasing any Blueshirts vids, for instance, I commend the league for the resources its using in these spots. A rich and resonant voiceover talent reminds us that “It’s a ferocious ballet of speed and skill . . . refined over the years but unchanged in its simplicity . . . less than a religion — but not by much . . . players whose hearts pump beneath a crest . . .” and then my mind trailed off in a dash to compose a love sonnet for my game.
It’s stunning to me that this affair of the broadcast heart is taking place, widely, in the greater Washington region. We’re not supposed to be much interested in hockey in these parts, remember? Other cable providers, including Cox, as well as DirecTV, will be getting the NHL Network up and running for locals at month’s end. But this weekend I can’t be bothered fretting for those of you without it; I’m that AWOL from the rink rat pack, the fella who forsakes beers and ballgames with his mates to spend all his time with a pretty girl. Except now I’m pretty sure I’ll be drinking even more beer.
I confess I don’t know much about what the league has in store in terms of programming for the NHL Network. It’s in its infancy still, so there’s a decent bit of repetition on air. It’s clear that there will be a steady diet of vintage games. There was a Caps-Devils postseason tilt from 1990 on late yesterday afternoon. I especially enjoyed highlights from a Hartford Whalers-Bs playoff showdown from the same time period. There’s something enduringly satisfying about seeing the Whale in their great old green garb. It’s a widely held nostalgia I think for a small market club ravaged by the lure of bigger dollars in some faraway newcomer cul de sac of cash. That playoff series, incidentally, featured a number of players with Caps’ ties: Bobby Carpenter, Dave Poulin, Randy Burridge, Todd Krygier. The Whale had one of the most difficult names to spell in all of hockey history in net, Peter Sidorkiewicz. (I had to keyword search “Hartford Whalers goalie Peter with a weird name who played in the ’90s” to find it.)
I have some suggestions for programming, if the league would like to solicit them. The Caps last season practiced outdoors one winter weekday morning at the Chevy Chase Country Club. Ottawa among other clubs has also skated practices outdoors (a number of AHL clubs, too, including the then-affiliated-with-the-Caps Portland Pirates). That sort of novel event would be perfect broadcast live and replayed in the evening on the NHL Network. It reminds us of the sport’s roots and why it’s so distinctive in the sporting landscape. When the league goes outdoors again for an actual game, in Buffalo on New Years Day for the Ice Bowl, the behind-the-scenes logistics for it ought to be lavishly chronicled.
Over the years the sport has produced some memorable television commercial spots, in individual markets and especially while ESPN broadcast the league. Remember ESPN’s “Hockey Falls” series? I’d like to see those worked in somehow.
It’s too early in this relationship for me to tell if it will be polyamorous: will perched-by-the-plexiglass talents such as Erin Anderson be recruited? There will be a need for talking head talent in the studio; why not bring some aesthetics to our savage sport? The Golf Channel lured a lot of middle-aged, potbellied 30-handicappers as devoted viewers by hiring Kelly Tilghman early on. I’m told that sidelinehotties.com can be a resource here. To be sure the NHL Network will attract a loyal following north of the 49th, but remember, there’s an awful lot of quality live puck broadcast up there too. If the NHL Network wants to strive for Sopranos buzz, Al Trautwig under the hot lights won’t cut it.
