Last night’s game wasn’t in the books an hour before I had an inbox teeming with unseemly gloating by fans of the good guys, many of them jubilant not only over the Caps’ victory in Pittsburgh but the prospect of a badly injured Sidney Crosby. To state the obvious, that’s very poor form.
I can find no virtue in baseless, armchair diagnoses the product of very wrongly channeled fan enthusiasm — how could any television viewer, even one with legitimate medical credentials, discern some degree of shoulder separation suffered by the Penguins’ captain? We don’t even know it’s a shoulder . . . although early reports suggesting an injured leg fairly suggest it. I understand fully Caps fans’ frustration with the NHL’s rushed and myopic marketing fixation on the Nova Scotian, from the very moment of his drafting, and additionally his extensive apprentice as a trained diver and loudmouth whiner during his rookie season, but really we ought to celebrate terrific and clock-cleaning clean hits on him, and moreover triumph over his team, rather than injurious misfortune in and of itself.
Now then, should the Pittsburgh captain be sidelined for some while, and subsequently should the already mightily struggling Pens fall even further into the basement of the Eastern conference, the question of whether that development is appropriately celebratory is an altogether different matter. Obviously, that should be treated with naked leaps, by the hundreds, into a partially frozen Potomac. Not only are the Penguins perched in 10th place in the East this morning, the 9th-place Panthers have three games in hand on them.
One malevolent messenger late last night even mailed me a link to the Wikipedia page for shoulder separations. Turns out, there are six classifications, or degrees, of shoulder separation, according to the entry. I offer a summary of them as a public service. Italicized emphasis is my own.
Type I
“A Type I AC separation involves trauma to the ligaments that form the joint, but no severe tearing or fracture. It is commonly referred to as a sprain. Most doctors treat this type of dislocation with anti-inflammatory drugs, pain medication and the placement of the arm in a sling or an immobilizer.”
Type II
“A Type II AC separation involves complete tearing of the acromioclavicular ligament, as well as a sprain or partial tear of the coracoclavicular ligaments. This often causes a noticeable bump on the shoulder . . . Severe pain and loss of movement are common. Treatment is typically an arm sling, bedrest, ice and heat therapy, and anti-inflammatory drugs. Most people recover full motion of the shoulder and arm within 6 to 8 weeks, often with the assistance of physical therapy.”
Type III
“In a Type III AC separation both acromioclavicular and coracoclavicular ligaments are torn. A significant bump is formed by the lateral end of the clavicle. This bump is permanent. The clavicle can be moved in and out of place on the shoulder. It may take 12 weeks to heal, and physical therapy can be beneficial. It may take even longer for the shoulder strength to approach feeling normal. The injured shoulder may not be able to take the abuse that it could previously, but for most purposes it will be quite usable and sufficient. However, there still is controversy as to whether or not surgery may be necessary for optimal shoulder use in sport.”
Type IV
“This is a type III injury with avulsion of the coracoclavicular ligament from the clavicle [I don;t know what this is, but it sounds remarkably painful -- like Sidney looked on the Pens' bench late last night], with the distal clavicle displaced posteriorly into or through the trapezius. This injury is generally acknowledged to require surgery.”
Type V
“This is type III but with exaggeration of the vertical displacement of the clavicle from the scapula. This injury generally requires surgery.”
Type VI
“This is type III with inferior dislocation of the lateral end of the clavicle below the coracoid. It is extremely rare and generally only involved with motor vehicle collisions. This requires surgery.”
We wish none of these maladies on our irritating enemy. Instead the appropriate mindset is to wish him a speedy mending so that Ovi can dish out more pain his way come February 22.
7 Comments
I take no joy in Sid’s injury. Get well soon. I prefer to watch the Caps beat healthy Pengs.
Do you think the people at the Pens Blog would be saying the same things if it was Ovechkin injured and not Crosby? They’d probably just do photoshops of his injury.
We know the Pensbloggers. Good (distinctly spirited) folks. They are suffering today.
I want the Penguins to be in the playoffs so we can finally beat (yeah I know we beat them in 94 I’m just saying). We wanna play and beat them in the playoffs.
I don’t dislike Crosby and am bored beyond belief with the continuing soap opera. Also, anyone who revels in any player’s injury is extremely low and I would not invite them to a game or buy them a drink for that matter. But in thinking about the lad’s misfortunes, it occurred to me that if young Crosby is unable to appear in the all-star game, and Ovie is promoted to the first line to skate with Malkin, there could be a whole new chapter in the Melodrama. Particularly if they were to drop gloves. Probably the first time in history two top line stars on the same all-star team would go at it. Now that would be taking the All-star debacle to a whole new low! Yes, I would pay good money to see that.
To borrow a quote from Brooks Laich in his recent NPR interview, Crosby needs a big bowl of suck it up soup.
This mock outrage at the fact that some people would take pleasure in Crosby hobbling off the ice is tired. We all know what good guys and purists you are – congratulations. It’s the alternative universe of sports; these things happen. It shouldn’t be surprising and it’s certainly not interesting.
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