20 August, 2008

A Weekend To Honor (Sort of) Mullet Men

Word leaked out yesterday that ESPN’s Barry Melrose was departing the TV studio and returning to the bench in the NHL, in Tampa. The Tampa media today appears to have verified the stunning news. We’re stunned. It’s been 13 years since Melrose coached in the NHL; the league has changed dramatically in that time, and while Melrose has monitored it nightly from his studio perch, that’s not the same as being in an organization and working day in, day out with league pros from scouts to GMs to equipment guys. And unlike a print beat guy traveling around with a team, Melrose has been holed up in a Connecticut TV studio the past decade plus.

On the plus side, the transition seriously deals a virtual deathblow to ESPN’s hockey coverage, such as it is. Given the prevalence of startling young talent in the remade NHL, one enjoying best-of-the-decade TV ratings and best-ever revenues, what a time to be the WorldWide Missing in Action in This Sport. What must John Buccigross be thinking right about now?

Making matters even more surreal, there’s word that Melrose will be paid a cool $2 million in salary next season. The ‘Bolts will transfer to new owner Oren Koules next month, and the scuttlebutt around the league is that the new owner wants to make a big splash upon his arrival. But is this a belly flop of a buzz generator? What must Vinny Lecavalier and Marty St. Louis be thinking these days?

The situation is doubly bizarre because the ‘Bolts have yet to relieve Head Coach John Tortorella of his duties. But it appears to be a done deal. World of this novelty dates back to April.

We confess: we can’t wait for Tampa’s first visit to Verizon Center next season, for a chance to be among the media contingent covering the thoughts of hockey’s most famous mullet.

In the meantime, we’re gonna acknowledge this weird news in fitting fashion, with a weekend-long celebration of hockey’s dishonorable ‘do. All four of us pledge not to cut a single strand of hair during. Tell us who you think possesses the all-time most infamous business up front, party out back ‘coif.

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4 Comments

  1. steph wrote:

    He actually worked to bring minor league hockey back to upstate NY in Glens Falls, putting together a partnership to save the team that was there, so he has been “in an organization” recently.

    Sunday, June 1, 2008 at 7:20 am | Permalink
  2. Obviously we selected a few choice mullet examples, leaving off many infamous mullets (Billy Ray Cyrus comes to mind). But of these, I would have to choose MacGyver’s mullet as the best — not only for the cut itself, but also for the bad dye job and the cultural impact of the show. Classic.

    Sunday, June 1, 2008 at 2:29 pm | Permalink
  3. Gmann wrote:

    Since there isn’t a photo of yours truly from the early 90’s posted, I’m going to take the Stamos mullet. Notice the elegance of the ‘business’ professional styling in the front, all the while alluding to a serious party situation breaking out behind the ears….

    Sunday, June 1, 2008 at 3:17 pm | Permalink
  4. LangwaywastheKing wrote:

    How can you go wrong with Jaromiss Jagr’s mullet, which emphasizes his feminine side (my theory was that he grew this hair because no real man would hit a woman)?

    Monday, June 2, 2008 at 6:13 pm | Permalink

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