19 April, 2014


Alexander Ovechkin, Stand-Up Comedian

As if his on-ice accomplishments weren’t enough, Alexander Ovechkin can keep ‘em in stitches too. Gennady Boguslavsky, Sovsport‘s Montreal-based reporter, recently asked Ovechkin a few questions others wouldn’t. Boguslavsky clearly caught Ovechkin in a pretty mischievous mood. Thank you to our friend and newly-minted countryman Dmitry Chesnokov for the translation.
Q. If you were to have your jersey custom tailored, which designer would you pick to do it?
Dolce & Gabbana of course. And if I was allowed to play in it I wouldn’t ever take it off. I’d sleep in it.
Q. Maybe you will become a designer when you retire from the game?
No way! I am not Maria Sharapova who comes up with designs of her handbags. I don’t have enough imagination for that.
Ovechkin Pie-in-the-FaceQ. When will Sidney Crosby score 50 goals in a season?
Maybe tomorrow! The guy is extremely talented. He could pick up a video game console, pick Pittsburgh as his team, and score 50 goals in one gaming session.
Q. Is it possible to score a goal with a head in hockey?
It is doable. But you shouldn’t try — because you can injure yourself very seriously, so that you won’t even realize whether it was you who scored the goal, maybe you won’t even remember your own name. You use your head to think. And also, as boxers say, you use it to eat.
Q. What smells do you like, and what smells you can’t stand?
I can’t stand bad breath. And I love how my girlfriend smells.
Q. When you and your other guy friends go to a sauna, what does your friend Andrei Markov usually sing?
Usually he sings “Pour some, we’ll talk.” [Russian: "Nalivai, pogovorim"]
Q. Is it true that Markov is an amazing chef?
Yes, he can make an amazing burnt omelet in the morning.
Q. What will happen if your tough guy Donald Brashear wakes up in a bad mood?
We’ll try to “lift” it. The mood, not Brashear. You can’t lift Brash. He weighs in at a couple of hundred pounds.
Q. Is it possible to play hockey on Mars?
Why not? There are open air games in the NHL already. Although we might have to make a window in the schedule a little longer — it might take a while to get to Mars.
Q. What would you say to President George W. Bush if you saw met him on the lawn in front of the White House?
“What’s up, dude? How’s life?” And let him pretend that he doesn’t know who I am.
Q. Have you ever jumped with a parachute?
No, it’s very risky. But I did do diving [high platform]. I am getting ready for the Beijing Olympics in that discipline. Maybe Markov and I could do a synchronized dive.
Q. Who will be the next owner of the Washington Capitals?
Roman Abramovich.
Q. Who would drink more beer, you or Kovalchuk?
Like someone said in one Russian movie:”Beer would be great! No, only wine.” Nevertheless, Kovy and I don’t drink beer.



9 Comments

  1. Not sure about Kovy not drinking beer. I swear I’ve seen pics of him out at a bar.

    25 March, 2008 at 1:13 am | Permalink
  2. Raina wrote:

    That was great – especially loved the Sidney Crosby comment – had me laughing.

    25 March, 2008 at 7:30 am | Permalink
  3. Victor wrote:

    He’s such a breath of fresh air–as opposed to the kids who’ve been raised in hockey, have been interviewed since juniors, and all of their answers are, “I’m just here to help the team,” and, “We have to play them one at a time,” and, “A friend once told me this was a simple game: You throw the ball, you hit the ball, you catch the ball.” Man, we should let kids be kids.
    My fave interview with him was after his rookie season, when someone asked him what he was going to do in the offseason, his reply was along the lines of, “I’m going back to Russia to go to bars, drink a lot, and get into fights.”

    25 March, 2008 at 7:53 am | Permalink
  4. Eli Resnick wrote:

    This is indeed a hilarious interview. I love bits like, “like it says in one Russian movie.” The cut on Crosby is beautiful, but a little uncharacteristic. I’m still entirely undecided on whether this is meant to be read straightsky or boguslavsky, but either way, I love it.

    26 March, 2008 at 12:38 pm | Permalink
  5. @ Starter Wife:
    Oh, they go out to bars — they’re just drinking good Vodka or mixed drinks instead of beer.
    BTW loved your Ralph McQuarrie reference via the new REM cover, nice. :)

    26 March, 2008 at 6:55 pm | Permalink
  6. Heather wrote:

    Wow, that is the most hysterical thing ever. I’d like to come up with a bunch of random questions to ask Ovie. I’d like to know his thoughts on Mean Girls and artificial intelligence.

    26 March, 2008 at 8:04 pm | Permalink
  7. Lee08 wrote:

    I’d find it funnier if I didn’t think it was a joke. I’m not sold he said any of this. Is that the point?

    10 April, 2008 at 1:16 pm | Permalink
  8. @ Lee:
    You may go ahead and find it funnier — Alex did indeed say it all (in Russian). He’s quite funny & smart in his native language, and in English too as his speaking skills continue improving.

    10 April, 2008 at 1:33 pm | Permalink
  9. Joeceff wrote:

    I’ve heard other interviews with Ovie and he has a wicked wit. He’s good with “backhanded” compliments (or digs, if you prefer), but is still pretty good at making sure everyone knows it’s meant in fun.
    Personally, I figured he was sandbagging it at the NHL Awards banquet this summer. He spoke with note cards and sounded very unsure of his English. But I’ve heard him during in-game interviews being very quick with a quote and speak with much better English than he did at that ceremony. He was either “playing dumb” or was a whole lot more nervous than I would have thought. Unlike Pavel Datsyuk, who’s English was very probably stretched to the limits in his acceptance speeches.

    15 July, 2008 at 4:38 pm | Permalink