25 April, 2014

Sarcasm, Thy Name Is Onion

A wonderful blurb from The Onion regarding the National Hockey League’s savior, Mr. Crosby:

PITTSBURGH–After a decades-long decline in fan interest that reached its nadir with the loss of an entire season to labor strife, the National Hockey League was rescued by the efforts of reigning MVP Sidney Crosby, whose goal and two assists against the New Jersey Devils restored the league to the heights of its former glory.
“What a truly momentous day for the rejuvenation of the great sport of ice hockey,” Commissioner Gary Bettman said of Crosby’s transcendent performance in a point-grabbing overtime that brought the Penguins within striking distance of fourth place. “That second assist was a shining example of what this game can truly be–Crosby recognized the screen, found the open man with the angle, and displayed†the awe-inspiring talent one associates with a Muhammad Ali or a Michael Jordan.†Hockey is surely saved now.”†
Bettman also acknowledged single-goal, two-assist performances from 13 other NHL players including Chris Chelios, Dany Heatley, and Todd White, but emphasized that, unlike Crosby, they had not saved the NHL.†


  1. Novaron wrote:

    Just wondering whether you picked up on this from my post to your message boards. I would have posted it on the Official Message boards but I am a member of the Messageboard 3. Thanks for these boards and hopefully they become a more viewed and utilized resource

    27 November, 2007 at 4:44 am | Permalink
  2. OrderedChaos wrote:

    Novaron, I saw your post after this article — but great call to pop it onto the boards, and keep up the good work!

    27 November, 2007 at 2:19 pm | Permalink