On Frozen Blog

It’s Siberia-far from their best work, but the Cure have a song titled ‘Friday I’m in Love.’ I awoke and logged on this morning to news from my bloggermate Gus that beginning in just another couple of weeks cable and satellite television providers all across North America would be offering the puck-crazed their long longed-for NHL Network. Twenty four hours of televised hockey seven days a week three hundred and sixty five days a year.
It’s Friday and I’m in television lust.
Heaven I imagine to offer fellas like me non-stop broadcasts of hockey on enlarged screens in high definition, with a few tab-free beers. Wait, that’s now my new home in Montgomery County in three weeks’ time. (I’m not in a mood to be trifled with particulars such as whether or not Comcast will offer the outlet locally; if it doesn’t, I’ll move. Nobody likes Friday joy-buzz-killers.)
In this region where Steve Czabins and their print ilk would have you believe hardly anyone is truly interested in consuming hockey media, I personally know of 61 individuals who will some time next month order the NHL Network.
If this news is dour in any regard, it is from the vantage of my mother, who’d really like to see me married and laboring toward grandchildren for her. How am I to schedule a date in this new broadcast environs? I have to work, bathe, and blog as it is, and now with this news, bid adieu to all future family and social functions.
This morning I’m actually conceiving bloggers’ pajama parties centered around weekends seated before the NHL Network. The Washington Times’ Corey Masisak debuted his very promising looking blog this week; he’d look funny in a set of those footie pajamas. Imagine if we arranged such an event for some February Saturday and a life-stopping Nor’easter settled in on D.C. right as Grapes was in full fury during Coach’s Corner. Even if we had a few laptops among us I doubt you’d hear from us again.
Here’s one strategem for liberating me from my home this autumn and winter: have that marvel of modern multimedia, the Verizon Center’s new assault-all-of-your senses center ice scoreboard, offer two-hour evening feeds of the NHL Network. It’d be like going to the movies. It’d be my best, last chance at socializing again.