On Frozen Blog

I’m an equal opportunity media critic, and this morning the Washington Times’ Dave Fay reminds me that the one thing worse than no hockey coverage is rank amateur analysis of the game by a media pro. “Wrong direction — Capitals keep getting worse, not better” indicates that not only did Fay get up on the wrong side of the bed before writing but that he’s resorted to message board muddled thinking as inspiration for it.

I think any discussion of Washington as a rank amateur hockey town needs to acknowledge what its hockey fans have to endure from the annointed who cover it. (Mercifully, through the miracle of technological democracy, this is changing.) This morning’s Fay column is exhibit 984.

Where to begin?

How about with this absurdly false premise:

“Two years ago Washington and Pittsburgh started out about the same level — two bad teams with one exceptional talent.”

Look, I understand the proclivity to compare the Caps and Pens; there’s the bitter playoff history, the Patrick division past, the relative proximity of the cities. But for once and for all, can we at last acknowledge the Pens’ privileged draft perch — way, way at the top — the better part of this decade? Was it just El Sid and riff-raf Craig Patrick accumulated in Mulletville as play started up again two years ago? What of no. 1-overall netminder Marc-Andre Fleury? Or Ryan Whitney and his 53 points thus far this season? They arrived with the 5th overall pick in 2002. And since then they’ve been bolstered by immediate-impact, uber-elite talents in Malkin and Staal. Until this season, the Penguins have been Entry Draft lottery fixtures.

The true story behind Pittsburgh’s ascent relative to Washington isn’t so much that it happened but . . . why did it take so long???

In particular, we’d do well to remember the high crime and draft felony perpetrated on the Caps by the league — most particularly to Pittsburgh’s benefit — in 2005. It was then that the league conducted its first post-lockout draft in “snake” style, meaning in even rounds, the draft order was reversed. This mayhem was an attempt to achieve a compromise between those who felt all teams should have had an equal chance at Sidney Crosby and those who felt tradition should reign, and weaker teams should have been in the running (as was the norm). The Caps were coming off a 59-point 2004. The league crafted an unprecedented provision that penalized a team for drafting no. 1 overall the preceding couple of seasons.

The principal effect of this screwjob was to deliver SuperSid to a desired market and award the Caps someone along the lines of say Sasha Pokulok . . . in the middle of the first round. Just two weeks ago I asked Mike Vogel if that summer’s stupidity has set back the Caps’ rebuild. “Without question” was I believe the reaction he offered me.

Speaking of Pittsburgh, though, its owner-savior had an interesting initial few seasons in the big league. Drafted in 1984, he and Pens management delivered the team to the postseason for the first time together in . . . 1989. Was Fay bellyaching about that patience demanded of Penguins’ fans during those five years?

And what are the origins of this Fay rant?:

” . . . the [Caps'] marketing department wants fans to believe they are dealing with the 1976-77 Montreal Canadiens.”

Has there been anything either formally or informally intimated by management evocative of dynastic claims? Instead, I’ve noticed public commentary phrased along the lines of “build for competitiveness year-in- year-out . . .,” maintaining roster flexibility with respect to salary additions (and boy won’t that be needed in the summer of 2008, with six key RFAs sitting down at the negotiations table), fostering an organic, build-from-within ethos — the models for which are compelling whether viewed in New Jersey or the Rocky Mountains.

Apparently a captain notching a certain 30 goals on the campaign is a dismissive trifle for Fay: “The Caps are fielding a team that has two players with measureable skill levels — Alexander Ovechkin and Alexander Semin . . . ” Methinks Fay needs some footage of the productivity of recent, preceding Caps’ captains. Ones who’ve been traded for chump change and allowed to walk as free agents. Let’s just say there isn’t a run on Halpern sweaters in central Texas these days.

More message board sub-mediocrity mush:

“Take Alex 1 and 2 off the roster and this is a team that would have trouble winning in the American Hockey League.’

Not if it were coached by Bruce Boudreau, it wouldn’t. But heck, why don’t we just go through 29 other sets of rosters and cherry pick off the prime talent and agree they’d all miraculously be basically unaffected. I mean the Pens without Sidney and Malkin, they’d still sneak in the postseason I’m sure. The Devils without Brodeur and Rafalski, no worries. What’s to be gained with such ludicrous hypotheticals?

I never thought I’d say this, but work like this makes me long for more column space for Danny Snyder’s boys.