On Frozen Blog

As the losses mount and the Mendoza line of below-.500-hockey is breached, passionate fan reaction — and that of Capitals’ Cassandras in particular — can be expected in predictable take-to-the-skyscraper-ledge fashion. Message boards couldn’t exist without it. What’s more surprising is that one MSM beat reporter would lead the pilgrimage to the wailing wall. In typical Washington fashion, Tarik last week suggested that the Caps throw millions in money to stem the losing hemorrhaging. It was a renewal of his preseason lament, when in a WaPost online chat he claimed that the Caps roster was littered with holes and indecipherably improved upon from a year ago.

Sometimes, during postgame interviews following a loss, I can tell a player or coach just wants to say to me, “Yes, Tarik, we struggled. But there’s a very good reason. Did you look at their lineup?”

First, what kind of journalism is this? No Caps’ player suggested as much to Tarik, either on the record or on background, nor did any team official. And with his insider access he chooses instead to impute the sentiment to them? I might as well just opine “Erin Andrews is looking through the TV camera at me and thinking, ‘Meet me after the Cotton Bowl for cocktails.’” Perhaps the reason he has to resort to such lazy journalism is that he knows this group of hockey players to be too proud and too confident in their abilities to resort to such sophistry.

Tarik’s citation of the $43 million Buffalo Sabres as rationale for congressional appropriators reworking the Caps’ books conveniently overlooks the determinative role salary arbitrators played in bloating the Sabre’s payroll by $15 million this past summer. Last season’s 100-plus-point, Eastern Conference finalist Buffalo club seemed to get it done darned ok on a $28 million budget. What about the Stanley Cup champion Hurricanes? $35 million. Aberrations? Nashville and San Jose had nifty seasons in their own right last year, on $31 million payrolls. The Canucks were a top-three club in payroll last season and were among the first to the first tee in April. And how about this season’s big-spending Flyers — how are things going up on Broad Street?

If we’ve learned anything from NHL payrolls the past 10 years, it’s this: the correlation between spending and winning isn’t merely tenuous, often victory is achieved in inverse relation to owner profligacy. So much so that it bred 2004’s lockout.

But it’s more important to get past the numbers game — a fruitless distraction: another millionaire in Bauers puts not a single additional fanny in Verizon Center’s cavernous emptiness — and at long last embrace The Blueprint. On this count, Tarik is doubly damned, as he’s presumeably attended all the pressers and heard Ted et al trumpet the new company line the past three years, ad infinitum: on UFAs and high-priced outsiders, been there, done that; and it’s long past time to emulate the durable, organic roster formations that are only assembled with savvy drafting and patience.

Hockey teams are built in the offseason. They’re tinkered with in-season. Young, rebuilding teams like the Caps not only are expected to endure growing pains like the present but need them. Call it Ted’s Tough Love.

Herewith, a five-point plan for fans and beat writers to adhere to during The Rebuild, and thereby maintain their dignity.

Rule no. 1: Rebuilds Take Time; Like Baja Fresh, Fresh Ingredients and Patience Are Required

Neither Rome nor the Montreal Canadiens was built in a day. Owner Leonsis and his management team have publicly identified a “5-year” window with which fans should expect to endure the transformation from the costly underachieving of the past into something better designed to compete successfully year in, year out in the future. And be a product to patronize and be proud of. That’s because rebuilds from the ground up generally take that long.

Unless you’re Daniel Snyder. Hah.

Earlier this season you heard Leonsis and McPhee acknowledge that their preconceived timeframe for durable, competitive viability had actually shrunk a bit, in light of the team’s strong showing in the season’s first 30 games. That was terrific news, but not something with which to blow up the big plan.

Rule no. 2: Rebuilds Always Encounter Speed Bumps and Potholes

If the path from dreary to delightful were easily navigable, and moreover guaranteed, more underachieving teams would undertake it. It takes guts and conviction to embrace what the Caps are doing, but the payoff, if it’s pulled off, is large — and certainly would be unlike anything Caps’ fans have ever been able to support in the team’s 30-plus years of existence. Even in the halcyon days of Bryan Murray’s mid-80’s, 100-pt. Caps’ teams there was an overreliance on trades to keep the team playoff-competitive; the Caps have never had a farm system akin to New Jersey’s or a scouting team adept like Colorado’s. This certainly wasn’t David Poile’s fault . . . rather, someone related to Andy Pollin. One need look only at the Hershey Bears of the past 15 months or the recent draft cullings to see the sea change. But the NHL awards no prizes for these early victories.

Nonetheless, among the litter of high draft picks accumulated since 2002, there will be three or five who don’t pan out, and even a first-rounder or two ultimately dropped from the successful redesign. The journey has detours, maybe some outdated map routes, some off-roading hardship, like blowing 4-0 leads to mullets.

Rule no. 3: See the Forest Through the Trees

This morning things look grim: we can’t even beat the Desert Dogs at home, on New Years Day, when we rarely lose. Buffalo recently missed only an extra point in a first period.

But the present is impossible to inventory with so match patchwork, BandAids, and ‘Team America, World Police’ Team Vomiting in the lineup. It isn’t so much that “impact” guys are out of the lineup (they’re not); it’s that plugging in AHLers — who’ve performed rather admirably, to their credit — up front and out back obliterates the chemistry that is key to this season’s feel-good first third. And this is no one’s fault. Quality depth simply isn’t achievable at this point in the rebuild.

It’s abundantly clear that when reasonably healthy this is a legitimate 80-pt.-plus roster that with a few breaks could remain in playoff contention solidly into March. That’s a robust improvement on last season’s 70-pt., regularly shellacked club. Recall any such MSM forecasts in September?

Rule no. 4: Never Forget that We Get No Favors from the League or Its Zebras

No other sport would have done to a bottom feeder like the 2004, 59-pt. Caps what New York did with its Entry Draft gymnastics in the summer of 2005, taking a surefire lottery team and ensuring it had no real chance of securing a top 5 pick. Meaning no disrepsect to Sasha Pokulok, but it’s indefensible that we had no shot at Kopitar, Bourdon, or Jack Johnson.

Memo to New York: Mathieu Perreault almost rhymes with F you.

How many top 5 picks have the Caps had this decade? Two. How many has Pittsburgh had since the birth of the Geico Cavemen? One (or more) for every year.

On the ice, we simply have to accept that Ovechkin is allowed to get speared in the boys — twice (Whitney Spears and Divere Briere) — while the moment he doles out less contact than the Redskins’ secondary, on an undersized [insert vulgarity of your choice], he’s required to pony up a grand. And this is nothing new. Ask Dale Hunter about shoulder checks and personal checks. And since we’re reminiscing a bit, how about playoff schedules and arena conflicts? So sayeth New York: Screw the Caps, Save the Pens.

Going forward, it’s important to remember that our guys ever have two opponents to overcome. But some crimes against Capdom are so egregious that even New York can’t turn a Blind Eye, which is why last summer it fired Blaine (Blind) Angus.

Rule no. 5: You Will Never Be Loved by Big Media for Rebuilding, but You Will Be Showered with Praise (and Column Space) for Losing (Often) Expensively . . . and Charging $35 To Park